The Mummy Boosh
by chugirl2526
Summary: By popular demand. While watching The Mummy on Naboo's new shaman DVD player, Vince and Howard get sucked into the film and must stay alive until the end to get out again. But it could cost Vince his life. warning contains slash and lots of angst.
1. The Shamanic DVD Player

Mummy Boosh.

Summery- By popular demand. While watching The Mummy on Naboo's new shaman DVD player, Vince and Howard get sucked into the film and must stay alive until the end to get out again.

Disclaimer- Mighty Boosh is owned by Noel and Julian. The Mummy is owned by Steven Sommers.

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Chapter 1- The Shamanic DVD Player.

It was a dark, stormy night in London. One lonely figure rushed through the wet streets, hiding his body and head under his black long coat, his balck boots splashing in the puddles that were forming quickly. He soon got to the front door of his flat and got in.

"Howard? You about?" Vince called out, taking his wet boots off and placing them next to the door. He went past the living room and up the stairs, yelling his friend's name. He went back down and found Naboo in the kitchen, sitting at the table with Bollo.

"He's gone out for awhile, Vince" The tiny shaman said, finishing off his coffee. Vince shurgged and went back upstairs to change from his wet clothes into drier ones- long sleeved red top with a black belt around the waist, with black drainpipes. He went down to the kitchen and made himself a hot chocolate with whipped cream and chocolate sprinkles to help warm him up. He sat at the table when there was a knock at the door.

"Bollo, get that will you? Could be that thing I ordered" Bollo answered the door and a masked shaman, sitting on a carpet was hovering there.

"Package" He yelled, throwing the brown box that was with him into the gorilla's arms and flew off. Bollo bought it back and dropped it in from of Naboo, who tore into it and took out and black thin box with a few buttons on it.

"What is it?" Vince asked, ever curious.

"My new shamanic DVD player. It actually sucks you into whatever you're watching" The shaman replied, already knowing what Vince was getting at.

"So, say I wanted to meet David Bowie, I could just put Labyrinth into this thing, get sucked in and ask for his autograph?" The goth asked, excitedly.

"Well, not really. You can only talk to the character that actor or singer is playing" Vince's face dropped as he pouted.

"Anyway, It's time for Bollo to DJ at rollerdisco" He and Naboo got up from the table and went upstairs to get their carpet ready.

"And Vince, don't touch the DVD player until we get back. We don't know if it'll work right or not" This caused another pout for the childish Goth.

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Half an hour later, A soaking wet Howard finally arrived home, finding Vince fiddling around with what looked to be a thin black box and their tele in the living area.

"What are you doing?" The jazz mavarick asked.

Vince looked up from his work "Naboo got this new DVD player and I'm trying to get it to work. All these wires, great colours, but too confusing"

Howard rolled his eyes "Out the way, I'll do it" He pushed his friedn out the way and hooked it up to the back of the tele.

Vince giggled excitedly as he went upstairs to his room. Howard watched him, shook his head and went to the kitchen to make tea. His head turned back to the stairs as he heard the THUMP-THIUMP-THUMP of Vince's footsteps as he ran down the stairs.

"I was thinking we could watch this together" He revealed from behind his back a DVD called 'The Mummy' "This looks such a great film, It's about the Eygptian times, they had good fashion back then"

Howard sighed "Go on then, little man" The goth let out a excited gasp and rushed to the tele. He placed the DVD inside the player and pressed it on, then flew over to the retro sofa and waited until Howard sat down.

"Naboo did says you could use this, right?" He asked, nervous about getting on the wrong side of the shaman again.

Vince thought for about two seconds "Yeah, corse he did" He pressed the play button on the remote, and the tele glowed an eriee blueish glow. Then it shook violently and zapped a ray of light and trapped the two friends. A flash of light later and they were gone, just leaving two screams in their wake.

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finally I've started it my next movie crossover. it might suck, so be kind lol from chugirl2526


	2. Meeting O'Connell and the Carnahans

Mummy Boosh.

Summery- By popular demand. While watching The Mummy on Naboo's new shaman DVD player, Vince and Howard get sucked into the film and must stay alive until the end to get out again.

Disclaimer- Mighty Boosh is owned by Noel and Julian. The Mummy is owned by Steven Sommers.

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Chapter Two- Meeting O'Connell and the Carnahans.

The light dims to show a large area of desert, with many people in white oufits and hats rushing across towards some ruins, prepering for battle with black robed warriors. One lone man stood on a ruined wall, watching as his men hid behind large rocks, he is quite handsome and looks brave. He jumps down and sits next to a weasly man.

"Why can we just not give up, O'Connell?" He asks.

"Shut up and give me your cartridge belt, Beni" O'Connell ordered. Beni gives it to him, which he crosses over with his own.

"Now give me your gun, you won't use it" Beni hands that over as well.

The black robed warriors got closer, making the legionnaire commander turn tail and run. O'Connell instantly takes command and orders his men to get ready, some also run away, including Beni. Once the warriors got close enough, O'Connell let out a yell to fire, gunshots firing out taking out some of the black robed warriors.

As the legionnaires reload, it give the opportunity for the opposition to fire, taking out some of the white outfitted men. The battle raged on for a few minutes until the warriors broke over the first few ruins, making everyone back away, even O'Connell. He throws his rifle down and starts firing from his guns. Beni finds a open temple door and sprints towards it, just as O'Connell's guns runs out. He runs away with four horse riding warriors following him.

"Beni, don't you dare close that door. Don't you dare!" He yelled, but Beni ignores him and pushes the door shut. O'Connell slams into the door, but it dosen't budge.

"I'm gonna get you for that!" He ran another way, but suddenly a flash of light blinds him for a moment. When it disappears, he sees a lone figure lying there, wearing a bright blue and white shirt and brown trousers. He helped the guy wake up and saw he had small brown eyes and short brown hair, looking quite confused.

"Where am I?" He asked.

"No time for that, let's go" O'Connell yelled, helping to his feet and made him run with him towards some columns, trapping them both. They turned to the sound of the horses getting closer and were looking down the barrels of the warriors rifles.

"Don't kill me, I've got so much to give" The small eyed man cried. Suddenly, the horses got spooked and ran off, leaving the two men safe. They feel the evil coming from around them and when they turned they came fac to face with a staue of Anubis. Suddenly the sand shifted around their feet and making a screaming face, making them run off.

They run and stop a few feet away from the ruins "So, who are you and where you from then?" O'Connell asked his new friend.

"The name's Howard Moon, man of action and I come from London. Where am I, what year is this and who are you?" Howard asked.

"You are in the Sahara desert, my friend, it's 1925 and my name's Rick O'Connell" O'Connell answered.

_'Wait, I know that name from somewhere... from that film Vince had' _Howard thought _'I must be in it, oh why do I let him talk me into these things'_

He was about to ask something else but stopped as O'Connell looked beyound him to a ridge. Howard looked too and saw a group of riders looking down at them. A chill ran down his spine, as his friend pulled on his arm.

"Come on, we better get to Cairo. We can try and get you back to London from there" And they both ran across the desert, hoping to get away from the warriors. Howard couldn't help but be concerned about Vince _'I hope he's alright and safe'_.

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Three years later (in the film), the city of Cairo is seen. Deep in the city lies the Cario Museum of Antiquities, and inside there was the library. A young woman was stacking books on a towering ladder which was wobbling. She wore a brown skirt, white shirt and glasses. Her brown hair was in a bun and she was trying to reach a book over to another stack behind her. She reached over, only to make the ladder topple over, crashing into the stack she was reaching, which crashes into another, which crashed into another one, etc.

She gets out the way in time and sees what a mess she's made.

"Whoops" She could only say. She spun around as she heard her boss, the museum curator comes in, furious.

"Look at this mess, give me flies, frogs, locusts. Anything but you" He yelled.

"I'm sorry, it was an accident" She defended herself.

"When Ramesses destoryed Syria, that was an accident. You are a catastrophe, look at my library. I mean why do I put up with you, miss Carnahan?"

"You put up with me because I can read and understand hieroglyphs, and I'm the only one who knows how to catalogue this library" She said, her anger rising.

"I put up with you because your mother and father were our greatest patrons, that's why. Now clean up this mess" He yelled, before walking off. Then a noise could be heard from another part of the museum, making the woman curious. She walks over and takes a torch from the wall and walks over to a open sarcophagus on the floor. Closer she gets and then peers inside until...

A rotton mummy pops out, making a screeching sound. She screams, drops the torch and backs off, but stops when she hears laughter coming from inside. A man then sits up, half drunk and laughing his head off. He has short brown hair and is wearing a white-ish suit.

"You...You..." The woman could only stutter.

"What? Fool? Drunk? Please call me something new" He answers, getting out of the sarcophagus. He then gets slapped by the woman.

"Please don't ruin my career like you've done with yours" She said.

"My dear sweet baby sister, i'll have you know that my career's on a high note" He hiccupped.

"High note ah! You have nothing to show for it" His sister said, quite annoyed.

"Oh yeah, what's this then?" He asked, getting a small metal box out of his pocket.

"If this is another worthless trinket then..." She stopped when he placed it into her hands. She turned it around and found a small button on the side, pressing it and made it open, revealing some old paper.

"Where did you get this?" She asked.

"On a dig down in Thebes. Have I found something?" Her brother asked back.

"I think you actually have" She smiled to him, making him smile back. Suddenly a flash of light blinded them both, but when it faded they saw a smallish man lying there on the floor. He had longish black hair and was wearing a red top with black trousers, but no shoes. He woke up to reveal blue eyes and handsome features.

"Oh, what happened? Where am I?" He asked, looking around. He caught sight of two people staring at him and got up slowly.

"Hey, I'm Vince noir, rock and roll star. Who are you guys?" The older man answered first.

"I'm Jonathan Carnahan and this is my sister Evelyn or Evy"

"Cool, you guys know where I am? One minute I'm sitting in the living room with my mate Howard, now I'm here" Vince asked, not fazed that he was in a different place, instead quite interested in the jewellery sitting behind glass displays.

"You are in the Museum of Cairo and it's 1928" Evy answered, still quite surprised at the young man in front of her.

"Wait a minute, I know where I am now, genius. I must be in that film we were watching, I remember your names now" Vince grinned.

"In a film?" Evy asked, curious and confused.

"Yeah, you guys are characters in this film me and Howard were watching on Naboo's magic DVD player, then this flash of light happened and we must have been sucked in. This is cool, always wanted to be in films" His child-like state getting to him.

Jonathan and Evy looked at him like he'd escaped from the prison nearby, but could somehow trust him "Hey, what's that in your hand?" Vince asked.

Evy looked down to the metal box in her hands and took out the paper, opening it to reveal an old map, her eyes instantly shone with excitment.

"We must show this to the curator" And the three of them went to her boss. He let them in and gave a surprised look at Vince.

"What do you lot want then?" He asked, annoyed that Evy hadn't even started cleaning up.

Jonathan stood behind him and Vince sat on a table nearby, while Evy explained.

"See this cartouche there? It's the royal offical seal of seti the first, I'm sure" She said, excited.

"Who was he then?" Vince asked, wanting to be included.

"He was the wealthest pharaoh of the Old Kingdom" Evy answered.

"I like this guy, I like him very much" Jonathan said, rubbing his hands in greed.

"I've dated it to be be four thousand years old and see this part here well...it's Hamunaptra" The curator froze then recovered. Vince saw this but didn't say anything.

"That's just a myth. No-ones ever found it"

"What's Hamunaptra?" Vince asked again.

"The City of the Dead. Where the early Pharaohs were said to have hidden the wealth of Egypt" Evy answered with a smile, glad the young man was taken a true interest in this.

"Right, right, in a big underground treasure chamber. Everybody knows the story. The entire necropolis was rigged to sink into the sand. On Pharaoh's command, a flick of the switch! And the whole place could disappear beneath the dunes, taking the tresure with it" Vince was getting more and more curious, even though he'd seen the film loads of times and knew what was gonna happen.

"Well, it's really jus fairy tales...oh look at that!" The curator said, after 'accidently' setting fire to the map. He dropped it and Evy and Jonathan ran over to put it out. Vince stared, shocked at the actions of the curator and gave him a hard stare, which didn't faze him.

"You've burnt off the part with the lost city" Jonathan yelled, annoyed.

"It for the best. Many fools tried to find it, many have losts their lives. Besides, it was probably a fake anyway. Now leave me" The three just stared at him and left his office, their hearts heavy with the loss. They made their way to the library and sat at a table in the middle of the room.

"Well, I say let's do it anyway" Vince said, surprising the other two.

"We've lost the part that we actually need, there's no way to get there now" Evy sighed.

"Well, that's not excatly true..." Jonathan started but stopped at the curious looks on the others faces.

"What do you mean, Jonathan?" His sister asked.

"I didn't excatly find it in Thebes, I actually nicked it off someone in the local bar three years ago. A fight then started out and I ran for it before the police came. I believe he got arrested. He was drinking with some other bloke with small weird eyes" Jonathan explained.

"Small eyes? That's Howard. He got arrested?" Vince laughed "I have to come with you guys to get him out of trouble again".

"Come on Evy, he might be able to show us the way there. Besides, it'll be a nice thing to do to reunite Vince here with his friend" They both gave her pleading looks until she gave in.

"Fine then. Let's go get us a couple of prisoners"

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next chapter sorry the howard part was small, i'm better at writing for vince lol please read and review. from chugirl2526.


	3. The Adventure Begins

Mummy Boosh.

Summery- By popular demand. While watching The Mummy on Naboo's new shaman DVD player, Vince and Howard get sucked into the film and must stay alive until the end to get out again.

Disclaimer- Mighty Boosh is owned by Noel and Julian. The Mummy is owned by Steven Sommers.

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Chpater Three- The Adventure Begins...

Vince, Jonathan and Evy made their way into Cario prison, a filthy, dingy place full of the criminals and lowlifes of Cario. Jonathan and Evy looked around the prison with disgust, while Vince wondered how Howard would cope in these conditions.

"I can't believe you lied to me, Jonathan" Evy said, still quite angry.

"I lie to everyone, what makes you any different?" He asked.

"I am your sister" She answered.

"That just makes you more gullible" Vince couldn't help but smile at the siblings arguement.

"You stole it from a drunk at the local bar!" Evy yelled.

"Picked his pocket actually" Jonathan said quietly. The fat, smelly prison warden saw them and walked them towards the cages by the farthest wall. The three stood a bit away from them.

"What are these men in prison for?" Evy asked. "I did not know, so when I heard you were coming, I asked them that myself" The warden replied.

"And what did they say?" Evy asked again. "One said... they were just was just looking for a good time" As he said that, the door behind the bars burst open and two guards dragged out two men with scraggy hair and filthy clothes. One had large blue eyes, blond hair and was wearing a white shirt, browned by the sand and light brown trousers. The other had brown hair, small brown eyes and a ripped blue and white shirt with dark brown trousers.

"Howard!" Vince called out happily, walking forwards to the cage bars "How'd you get here?"

"Vince? Thank God. That flash of light...it bought me in the middle of a battle, this guy saved my life. We've been here for what feels like three years. You alright?" Howard gasped out.

"Yeah, the flash of light sent me to this museum and these guys helped me find you" Vince said.

"You do know this is all your fault, little man?" The jazz mavarick said.

"How's it my fault?" The Gtoh asked.

"You never said it was a magic DVD player that would send us here, now look at the mess we're in"

"Ok, I'm sorry, I forgot. Naboo will realise what's happened and help us out...hopefully" Vince said, defending himself.

"And if not?" Howard asked, getting annoyed.

"Then we must have to stay here until the end of the film" Vince answered, then smiled sheepishly. Howard just placed his hand over his eyes and felt like sobbing.

Meanwhile, the Carnahans were having a discussion with O'Connell. He then punched Jonathan across the face, knocking him out and making vince giggle slightly. Then Evy got closer to the bars, making O'Connell reach out, grab her face and kiss her. the guards then beat him and dragged him back, then came back and dragged Howard away "Vince, help me!"

"Where are they taking them?" Evy asked, worried.

"To be hanged, apparently the one had a very good time" Vince paled even more hearing Howard's fate.

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In the courtyards, the gallows were ready. Hundreds of prisoners watched as the nooses were put around O'Connell and Howard's necks. Evy is with the warden on a balcony while Vince and Jonathan could only watch in horror in the crowds.

"I'll give you one hundred pounds to save these men's lives" Evy pleaded.

"I'll pay one hundred pound just to see them hang" The warden said, not caring.

"Two, two hundred pounds" The two men looked up at her and saw their lives being bartered for, becoming hopeful.

"Five hundred pounds" Evy finalised. The warden stopped the proceedings.

"And what else? I'm a very lonely man" He felt her knee, making Evy slap him with her handbag "What about your friend down there, with the long hair?"

"No, I'm not giving you Vince" She slapped him again, making the prisoners laugh. The Warden then commanded Howard and O'Connell to hang. They fell through the trap door, but their necks didn't break.

"Great. Now we'll watch them strangle to death" The warden said, with a smile. Vince watched in shock as his best friend's fce went blue and knew he had to do something. He ran underneath the gallows, Jonathan unable to stop him and he grabbed Howard's leg, trying to keep him upright and not choke so much.

"The one knows the location of Hamunaptra" Evy said, desperate.

"You lie!" The warden accused.

"I would never. And if you let them both go we'll give you 10"

"50"

"20"

"40"

"30"

"25"

"Deal" Evy bartered. The warden realised his mistake, and order the men to be realesed. O'Connell fell into the sand, while Howard fell on Vince.

Howard looked as though he was going to kill Vince, until he saw the guilty look and tears rolling down his friend's face "I'm so sorry Howard, I never meant for that to happen" Howard rubbed his neck, trying to look angry, but couldn't. Instead he gathered the goth in his arms and hugged him, telling him he was fine now.

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The next day, the Carnahans arrived at Giza port with Vince in tow. After yesterday's antics, he was feeling a bit unsure about this adventure now.

"Are you sure he's going to turn up?" Evy asked.

"Undoubtly, I know the breed. He may be a cowboy, but his word is his word" Jonathan answered.

"Well, I think he's rude, filthy, a complete scoundrel. Nothing to like there at all" She shot back, not knowing O'Connall was right behind her "Someone I know?"

She turned around and saw him dressed more cleaner, his long blond hair before now cut short and his beard gone. By the side of him was howard, wearing a plain white shirt buttoned up and light brown trousers. He smiled at Vince, but when he saw the mark artound Howard's neck made by the rope, the goth looked away guilty.

Howard took him aside "Listen, yesterday was not your fault, I was just scared and blamed you for it. It was just simply the wrong place at the worng time"

"But you were right, it's my fault this as happened. I shoudln't have used that thing without Naboo's permission, he's gonna kill me now" Vince replied, worried.

"Hey now, he's gonna kill me too for letting you it in the first place. Besides, if he does, I'll go at him like a northen bullet" This made Vince laugh and feel less guilty. They turned around and saw their three friends go up the ramp to the boat they were taking.

"Come on then. Let's have another adventure, one to remember Vince" Howard smiled, making Vince smile back. They then made their way up the ramp and to the next part of the film/adventure.

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next chapter yay i'm getting quicker at these things now lol from chugirl2526.


	4. The Nightmare Boatride

Mummy Boosh.

Summery- By popular demand. While watching The Mummy on Naboo's new shaman DVD player, Vince and Howard get sucked into the film and must stay alive until the end to get out again.

Disclaimer- Mighty Boosh is owned by Noel and Julian. The Mummy is owned by Steven Sommers.

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Chapter Four- The Nightmare Boatride.

Naboo and Bollo got home that night and saw the tele on in the living room. Naboo saw Vince and Howard inside the film, standing together a a boat sailing off.

"They've disobeyed me again" The shaman said, annoyed.

"What will we do?" Bollo answered.

"Go put the kettle on, get the hooka and some popcorn. I want to see how this works" Naboo said, settling down on the sofa.

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That night, the moon was full while the boat sailed down the Nile. Three men in black robes rowed behind them, the one in front had a hook for a hand.

On the deck of the boat, Jonathan had joined a group of Americans for a game of poker. Howard sat near-by, watching how to play the game, hoping to join in. O'Connell walked over to them, a gunny sack on his back.

"O'Connell, sit down. We could use an extra player" Jonathan said, catching sight of him.

"I gamble with my life, never with my money" This perked the interest of one of the Americans, called Daniels.

"Never? What if I was to bet you five hundred dollers we get to Hamunaptra before you do?"

"You guys are looking for Hamunaptra?" O'Connell asked, curious.

"Damn straight we are" Another American, Henderson answered.

"And who said we are?" The Americans pointed to Jonathan and Howard "They did" Jonathan looked sheepish, while Howard just walked away, whistling innocently to look for Vince.

"Alright, you're on" O'Connell said, confident.

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Evy was sitting on a table with Vince, showing him her book on Eygptian history of the Gods and Goddesses.

"I bet the fashion was good back then" Vince smiled, pointing out some of the clothes the gods in the pictures were wearing. Evy couldn't help but smile too, until O'Connell came over and dropped his gunny sack on the table, making them both jump.

"Sorry, didn't mean to scare you" He apologised.

"The only thing that scares me is your manners" Evy said coolly "Still angry about the kiss then?"

"If you call it a kiss, mister O'Connell" He then unrolled his gunnysack to reveal revolvers, pistols, hunting knives, a massive elephant gun, and a half dozen carefully wrapped sticks of dynamite. Evy and Vince looked at them all, amazed and shocked.

"Are we going into battle?" Evy asked, worring Vince. Howard already was in the middle of one battle and nearly died, he didn't want his best friend to be hurt again.

"There's soemthing underneath that sand" O'Connell said, putting bullets in his rifle.

"Yes, I'm hoping to find a certain artifact, a book, actually, my brother thinks there's treasure. What do you think is out there?" He gave her a look "In a word, evil"

"What do you think is out there, mister Noir?" Vince only had to think about it for a second "A way home for me and Howard. I'd better go and find him, excuse me" He flashed a dizzy grin and walked off. He first went to the cabin he and Howard were sharing but didn't find him. so the goth made his way to the front of the boat. He leant on the railings, with nothing but his thoughts for company.

_'I wonder where Howard's gone? I hope we reach a town soon, my clothes are starting to stink. This must be the longest I've been without my new clothes and my hair straightners, it must look like a bird's nest. They probably won't have them here in this time, oh well'_

His thoughts were interupted when a hand touched his shoulder, making Vince jump once again. He turned to see Howard behind him, trying a surpress a laugh at his friend's shocked face "Sorry, couldn't resist Vince"

Howard leant againest the railings with his friend, looking out at the starlit night "I wonder if Naboo's got home yet and realised we've gone"

"Probably is, sitting down and watching our plight with Bollo and his hooka. Punishment for not listening to him. I'm sorry I got you into this Howard" The jazz maverick just placed his arm around his friend's shoulders, as a way of saying 'it's not your fault really'. Vince smiled up at him, but the silence was interupted by the sound of water splashing. They looked down in the water to see a weasely looking man cursing and splashing around.

"Don't worry about him, he'll be fine" O'Connell called out to the pair, before notising something wet on the floor behind him and walked away.

A few minutes later, panic happened. The cabins somehow caught fire and many men, some with horses, were making their way off the firery boat. Howard got seperated from Vince in the rush and was trying desperately to find him. He spun to see O'Connell helping Evy overboard, only for a black robed man to beat him, but O'Connell overpowered him and kicked him into the flames. He then jumped over himself, followed by the warden who came with them.

He heard Vince call out for him, and he turned to see his friend looking desperatly for him. He rushed over to the goth, only for a big piece of burning wood to fall in front of him and block his way. He cried out for his friend only to be pulled back by Jonathan and told to go overboard, but he was not going without Vince, he'd rather stay on the boat with him and go down too.

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Vince saw Howard come towards him, but look horrified as the wood fell down and blocked his only way off the boat. He looked around but could only worry as the flames got closer to him, he sat in the corner that wasn't on fire, curling his arms around his knees and waited for the flames to comsume him. Tears flowed down his face and dripped on the floor.

He picked his head up though when he heard wood shifting and saw two people trying to shift the beam out the way. He smiled as he saw Howard and Jonathan finally move the wood out the way, hVince rushed over and held his friend close "I knew you wouldn't leave me behind Howard

"No time for that, let's go!" Jonathan yelled, jumping in the water. Howard looked at Vince and indicated to jump.

_'Well, I'd rather my hair got wet then burnt off'_ Vince though as he jumped into the cold waters. A few minutes later, Vince, Howard, the Carnahan siblings, the warden and O'Connell made it safely to the bank, Vince's hair was wet through and clinging to his forehead.

Beni, the weasely man called over from the other side of the river "O'Connell, hey O'Connell. Looks like I got all the horses"

"Hey Beni, looks like you're on the wrong side of the river" O'Connell shouted back. Beni looked around him and saw where all the Americans and workers they brought along and indeed O'Connell was right. He cursed then kicked the waters.

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The next day, the gang arrived at an Bedouin trading post. Jonathan was trying to get camels with O'Connell and Howard, Evy and Vince (who they mistakened as a woman, again) had been taken off to get new clothes.

"I only want seven" Jonathan yelled. O'Connell just took his money and paid the trader, giving two to Howard.

"Should have just gave him your sister, and Vince" Howard and Jonathan were thinking the same thought

"Yes, awfully tempting isn't it?" O'Connell stopped in his tracks when he saw Evy wearing a black lace Bedouin outfit with a veil. Vince also was wearing the same outfit, only without the veil "Yeah, tempting" O'Connell muttered to himself.

"Looking good ther Vince " Howard smiled at his friend. Vince smiled back, but looked away.

"Thanks for saving me last night, Howard" The jazz maverick hugged the goth with one arm "Just consider us even now" They shared a laugh before getting on their camels, a challenge within itself.

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This chapter probably seems quite slashy but it isn't lol it probably sucks instead. enjoy anyway from chugirl2526.


	5. Arriving into Danger

Mummy Boosh.

Summery- By popular demand. While watching The Mummy on Naboo's new shaman DVD player, Vince and Howard get sucked into the film and must stay alive until the end to get out again.

Disclaimer- Mighty Boosh is owned by Noel and Julian. The Mummy is owned by Steven Sommers.

Author's notes: Because of how sucess ful the part in the last chapter was, i'm not making this story a slash fic, mainly fluff though thank you all who inspired it.

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Chapter Five- Arriving Into Danger.

As they travelled across the sand dunes, Jonathan starting complaining "Never did like camels. Flithy buggers, they smell, they bite, they spit. Disgusting" As he said this, the warden spat near Howard's camel.

"I think they're lovely" Evy admitted, stroking the top of her camel's head. Vince would have agreed, if he wasn't in the middle of a conversation with his, mainly talking about Gary Numan and desert fashion. Howard couldn't help but smile at his young friend, but the smile dropped when he realised how close he was to losing Vince yesterday. If he did die, Howard wouldn't be able to live with the guilt and sadness. The goth did look up from his conversation to gives a large grin at Howard, before going back to his talk with his transport.

Soon it became night time, the moon once again quite full in the sky. Jonathan was asleep, so was the warden, snoring loudly. So Jonathan just had to smack him with the whip to make him stop.

Howard was riding next to Vince, trying hard to stay awake. His friend already was asleep, but starting shivering from the cold night air. The jazz mavarick notised this and took off his jacket O'Connell gave him the day they got out of prison, placing it around Vince's shoulders. The goth stopped shivering, and a small smile appeared on his handsome face. Howard couldn't help but stroke the side of his friends face, then his soft hair. He'd been wanting to tell Vince his feelings for him for ages, but never had the courage too. Maybe after this adventure finally finished, he'd tell him.

O'Connell rode next to Evy, who was a sleep also and falling out of her saddle. He placed her back into it and smiled, then looked up on top of a cliff, and saw a load of men in black robes, just watching them.

--

The next morning, Jonathan and the warden started arguing "And you snore" The warden looked at him offened "I do not snore" "Yes, you did. You snored all night" Howard just rolled his eyes at the argument, while Vince just giggled. He knew he could feel Howard playing with his hair last night, but didn't want to say anything. He had feelings for his friend, but didn't want to get his hopes up that Howard loved him too.

"We're almost there" O'Connell said, looking at Evy "How are you sure?" She asked. He looked down to the floor, where many skeletons were sticking out of the sand. Evy and Howard looked disguted, while Vince looked at them with wonder "Cool" He said quietly.

"What the bloody hell are they?" Jonathan asked, equally as disgusted as his sister "Other seekers of Hamunaptra" The warden answered.

They passed a rather large dune, where the American party meet them. Both parties stopped a few feet away from each other, and waited.

"What the hell are we waiting for?" Daniels demanded "Patience, my good sahib, patience" Beni answered him.

Henderson called over O'Connell "Remember our bet, first one to city, five hundred cash bucks" O'Connell and Beni just stared out at the flatness ahead, making Evy, Jonathan and Samantha gives looks at each other. Howard looked at Vince, who just shrugged his shoulders and smiled, eagerly waiting for adventure.

"Get ready for it" Evy looked for O'Connell "For what?" He answered "We're about to be shown the way" The sun began it's rise, until it got to the point that a volcano started showing. Both parties then shot off towards it, O'Connell and Beni had a fight which whips were struck at each other and Beni ended up on the floor. Vince just sucked his tounge out at him and Evy said "And that serves you right".

O'Connell was shooting out in front, while Evy's camel was closing in on him, when she got neck and neck with him, she smiled at him. Then all of a sudden, her camel shot off, while Jonathan was cheering her on. Soon enough, Evy was the first into the city, followed by O'Connell. Soon the rest of their party arrived. Vince cheering al the way, while Howard was nearly giving his camel the death grip in fright.

--

The diggers that are with the Americans started shifting rocks from an entrance into Hamunaptra. The Egyptologist was giving instructions to them from on top of the entrance, while Henderson looked over to where O'Connell's party "Do they know something we don't?"

The Egyptologist just turned to him "They are lead by a woman, what does a woman know?"

Across the volcano, O'Connell was getting ropes tied to pillers ready to go down into the city. The warden was doing nothing and Jonathan was cleaning some mirrors. Vince was looking in amazement at their surroundings, while Howard stuck close to him, in case anything else happened to him "According to Bembridge Scholars, inside the statue of Anubis was a secret compartment, perhaps containing The Book Of The Living" O'Connell looked up from his work "What are the mirrors for?"

Evy looked at him "Ancient Egyptian trick. You'll see" He shrugs and jumps into the cervise they found into Hamunaptra. Underneath, they found themselves in a chamber. O'Connell, Jonathan and Evy took a torch each, while Vince and Howard looked around in wonder.

"Do you realise we're standing in a room no-one has entered in over four thousand years" Evy said, excited.

"What is that God awful smell?" Jonathan asks, sniffing the air. Vince pointed to the side of him and he saw the warden standing near him. Evy then brushes the cobwebs of a metal disk and pushes it down, so it could catch the light "And then there was light".

The whole chamber then lit up with light, showing a room with many tables in it "Oh my God. It's a prepartion room" Evy stated, excited.

"Preparation for what?" Rick asked, his curiousity rising "For entering the afterlife, O'Connell" Evy stated.

"Mummies, my good son, this is where they made the mummies" Jonathan stated, as they made their way out of the room.

While walking down a narrow passageway, a rumbling sound could be heard. Everyone braced themselves, and the warden just farted "Dear God" Howard stated, looking as though he was going to collapse. Vince just brust into hysterical laughter, grabbing his sides as he collapse to the floor, tears dripping down his face. Howard just picked him up by his arm gewntly and made him keep walking.

They kept on walking until they got to a half buried statue of Anubis. Suddenly, a scratching sound could be heard. O'Connell pulled out his pistol, while Jonathan pulled out a tiny derringer. They then jumped out of the side of the statue, only to find themselves faced with the Americans.

"Ya scared the bejeezus out of us, O'Connell" Henderson stated, starting to put his gun away "Likewise" O'Connell said, doing the same with his gun.

"This is our statue... friend" Daniels said "I don't see your name written on it... pal"

Then Beni came from behind them "Four to one, O'Connell, your odds are no-so-good" O'Connell pointed his gun towards Beni "I've had worse" Jonathan pointed his tiny gun towards Beni as well "Yeah, me too" O'Connell just gave him a look and turned back towards Beni.

Evy then pulls O'Connell's arm down "Let's be nice, children, if we're going to play together, we must learn to share. There are other places to dig" He cocked his guns and put them away, then got lead away with Jonathan, Vince, Howard and the warden at his heels.

--

"According to my calculations, we should be right under the statue. We'll come up right between his legs" Evy said. She, O'Connell, Jonathan, Vince and Howard were in a chamber underneath Anubis's statue. O'Connell, Howard and Jonathan were smashing the ceiling above them.

"And when those dirty yanks go to sleep...no offense" Jon said, before looking at O'Connell "None taken".

"We'll sneak right up and steal that book from right under them" Vince said, watching as they worked and catching onto the plan "Are you sure we can find the secret compartment?" O'Connell asked.

"Well, if those beastly Americans haven't got to it before us...no offence" "None taken" Jonathan looked around the room "Where'd our smelly little friend get to?"

--

The warden crawled his way though a small, narrow passageway. He reached the end and stands up inside a chamber. A mural wall comes alive, embedded into it are dozens of black amethyst scarbs. Awestruck, the warden pulls out a pocket knife and starts prying away at one of the precious bugs "What's this? Black gold?"

He puts it into his sidebag and starts prying more off.

--

Beni and the Americans hover around the Egyptologist, who's found the serect compartmant inside the statue of Anubis. The Egyptologist brushes sand away from the seam and Henderson steps forward and grabs the seam, -- the Egyptologist quickly stops him "Stop, Seti was no fool. Perhaps we should let the diggers get it out?"

"Yeah, sure. We'll let them open it" Henderson agreed. Three diggers get crowbars and start prying at the seams. Then, a burst of liquid comes out of the seams and sprays onto the diggers, making their skin melt off their bodies. The Americans and Beni screamed.

--

Evy and O'Connell sit on rocks, taking a break from the digging and talking about mummification. Jonathan was playing golf with rocks and one of the tools and Vince and Howard were looking at the pictures on the walls.

"Do you know how they took out your brain?" Evy asked "They stick a red hot poker up your nose, scramble things about a bit and rip it all out though your nostrils"

O'Connell winced "Oh, that's got to hurt" Evy spoke with a smile "Don't worry. You'll be dead when they do that"

O'Connell spoke up again "If we don't get out of here alive, don't put me down for mummification" Jonathan didn't look at him from his golf game "Likewise" He took a shot and the ceiling cave in, O'Connell jerks Evy clear and Jonathan jumps from danger. Howard drags Vince away from the fallings rocks and presses him close to his body, making both of them smile inside at how perfect their bodies melded together.

As soon as the dust cleared, everyone got up again to see what fell. It looked like a stone casement.

"Oh my... it looks like a sarcophagus" They look up "Buried at the base of Anubis" Evy looked down again and continued "He must have been someone of great importance...or he did something very naughty".

--

The warden is still prying away at another scarab It rips off and he drops it into his pouch, only he misses, and it scarab quietly falls to the sandy floor without the Warden noticing. The amethyst starts to glow. Something inside starts to wiggle; as if the amethyst were some sort of strange cocoon. Then it splits open and a real live scarab beetle scurries out.

It races over to the warden's shoe, quickly burrows into the leather and vanishes inside. The warden's eyes fly open and he starts screaming, dropping his knife and frantically starts clawing away at his pant leg, higher and higher until he rips open his shirt revealing a large, hideous lump where the scarab was.

It keeps burrowing under his skin. It burrows it's way along his belly and his chest. The warden claws and scratches at it, trying to stop it. The lump then burrws up his neck, the warden starts screaming even more as the scarab burrows into his head.

--

Evy is dusting the sand of the top of the sarcophagus, and starts staring at the only hieroglyph. Jonathan strums his fingers impatiently on it "Well, who is it?"

Evy looked puzzled as she said "He who shall not be named" O'Connell blows on what seems to be the lock to the sarcophagus "There's some kind of lock here. You say these thing's are made of granite with a steel interior?"

"Quarried granite with a cobalt lining" Evy answered, trying to get a better look "Whoever's in here sure wasn't getting out" Jonathan spoke up. Howard and Vince even got brave enough to take a closer look.

"It will take a month to get in here withoput a key" O'Connell replied. Evy then had the look of recognition on her face and started rummaging though Jonathan's pack "That's it. A key, the man with the hook for a hand on the barge said something about a key" She appeared from the bag again with the key/box in her hands "That's mine" Jonathan whined reaching out for it, only to have Evy slap his hands.

Vince laughed as Evy placed the key into the lock prefectly and smiled. They both stopped when they heard screaming coming from the corridor behind them. They all went outside the chmaber to see the warden shooting down the corridor, Jonathan and O'Connell try to grabbed his hands to stop him, but he slipped their grasps. He then slams his head down into the wall and falls down dead.

Evy, O'Connell and Jonathan stood there, wide-eyed and breathing hard. Howard didn't know what to do except to cover Vince's eyes from the horror that happened. He didn't want the young man to have nightmares about death.

--

Jonathan and Evy sat around the fire in their little camp, O'Connell has just gone off to see the Americans. Vince paled as Howard explained what happened to the warden "What do you think killed him?" he asked.

"Ever see him eat?" Jonathan answered, with a hint of humour. Vince smiled, then notised O'Connell coming back to them. He settled down next to Evy.

"Seems the Americans had a little misadventure of their own today, three of their diggers were melted" O'Connell told them. Jonathan looked disgusted when he asked "How?"

"Pressurized salt acid. Some sort of ancient booby-trap" O'Connell metional. Howard spoke up "Maybe this place really is cursed", then the campfire flicker, causing Jon, O'Connell and the boys to share a look. Evy just laughed.

"Don't belive in curses, eh?" O'Connell asked.

"No, I don't. I belive that if I can touch it and I can see it, then it's real. That's what I belive" Evy told him, poking at the fire with a large stick.

"Well, I belive in being prepared" O'Connell answered back, cocking his rifle.

"Let's see what our friend the warden belived in" Jonthan said, as he started going around inside the warden's pouch. Then he screams loudly, as he takes his hand back out. Evy and O'Connell screamed and Howard was immediatly worried for Vince's safety, likewise Vince was worried for Howard's safety..

"What? What is it?" Evy asked. Jonathan just sucked on his finger and pulled out a old brown bottle.

"A broken bottle. Seagrams, if I'm not mistaken. Well, he might have been a stinky fellow, but at least he had good tatse" He took a lond drink of it.

Suddenly, gunfire could be heard from the American camp. O'Connell was immediatly up and tossed his rifle to Evy "Stay here" He yelled, as he ran to the camp.

So, Evy ran after him anyway, with Jonathan, Vince and Howard following. Jonathan taking his bottle of seagrams with him, as well as a smaller gun "Wait, didn't the man just say stay here? Evy?"

--

A dozen Med-jai warriors made their way into the American camp, shooting down anyone who got in their way. Several diggers got killed, while the Americans were firing back.

O'Connell starts firing with them, as he runs up on top of some rocks. He then leaps out and tackles him off the leader's horse. The two men slam to the ground and O'Connell spins up onto one knee and fires his handgun. It blows the scimitar out of the leader's hand.

O'Connell is about to shoot again when a horse rides up between them. A scimitar swoops down, almost takes O'Connell's head off, misses him by an inch. O'Connell leaps up and blows the Rider off his mount. He looks around, but the leader was missing.

Evy hides behind some rocks, watching the scene, suddenly, she hears something coming up behind her and spins around. A Med-jai warrior races at her. Evy quickly backpedals over the rocks, terrified. The warrior raises his scimitar, about to strike. Evy screams, trips over a rock and fires the rifle, blowing the warrior off his mount.

Jonathan and Howard stood behind a quite high wall, Jonathan firing while the jazz mavarick stayed next to him, watching the carnage. He got seperated from Vince again, and cursed his bad luck. All the while, Jonathan kept taking swigs of his Seagrams until Beni came over and took the bottle from his hands, taking his own swigs. He stopped in mid pause when he saw the Med-jai leader coming at them, scimitar raised.

Beni spat the drink in Jonathan's face and he, Jon and Howard ran for their lives. O'Connell notised this and jumped from some more rocks, onto the leader and started hand-to-hand combat with him. Howard saw Vince behind them and turned back, ignoring Jonathan pleas to follow him.

He ran to his friend and saw one of the Med-jai warriors raise a gun at Vince. Before he could yell at Vince to move, a shot rang out and Vince fell backwards, landing on the sand and not moving. Howard ran to his friend and gathered him up in his arms, seeing the blood pouring out of a shoulder wound, the bullet seemed to be stuck.

O'Connell raises a gun at him, but the leader's scimitar knocked it out of his hands. O'Connell then rolled on the ground and draws a stick of dyamite out of a bag in the camp. He lights it and waves it in front of the leader.

"Alright, stop. We will shed no more blood tonight. But leave this place, leave this place or die. You have one day" He yelled something in Arabic and the other Med-jai warriors rode off with him into the distance.

O'Connell watches them, then blows out the fuse of the dynamite. He then walks over to where Evy is. Evy was lying down on the sand, with the rifle still pointing up and O'Connell helped her up.

"You alright?" O'Connell asked Evy.

She nodded "Yes...Fine...Thank you" They look around the camp, many bodies of the diggers layed around.

Daniels spoke up "That proves it. Old Seti's treasure gotta be under that sand for them to protect it like that"

O'Connell disagreed "These are desert people. They treasure water, not gold"

Then Evy looked around, worried "Where's Jonathan?" But her fears for her brother slighty wavered when she saw Howard carring his friend in his arms "He's been shot, please help him".

O'Connell took the limp body from his arms and placed Vince down on his jacket he took off ealier, so the sand couldn't get into the wound "Evy, pass me my knife, out my gunny sack" When it was placed in his waiting hand, O'Connell was stopped from doing anything by Howard.

"I won't let you hurt him anymore" He said, tears falling down his face from fear but his eyes show determination.

"If I don't get the bullet out, I can't clean the wound and he'll get sicker. Is that what you want?" O'Connell nearly yelled. howard looked down "No" He let go of his friend's wrist and walked away, not wanting to see Vince in more pain, but he couldn't stop himself from wincing when he heard his friend yell in pain as Vince felt the knife go into his shoulder.

--

Jonathan landed on the floor, his eyes wide open, looking dead. His eyes then closed and he put on his goofy grin. He is definatly drunk. Then he passes out. They found him with Beni, hiding in some sort of small cave. They were sharing the bottle between them, and were nicely drunk when they were found.

O'Connell and Evy, who were also nicely drunk themselves after finishing of what was left in the bottle, laughed at Jon's antics. O'Connell offered Evy some more drink, but she refused, slurring badly.

"Unlike my brother, I know when to say no" So she took the bottle from O'Connell anyway and took a swig. O'Connell then had it back and finished off the last drops.

"Unlike your brother, I just don't get you" He answered back to her. She nodded.

"I know, you're wondering what is a place like me doing in a girl like this?" Her speech seriously shot by the drink.

"Something like that" O'Connell answered. Evy pulled out a old pendent and opened it up, showing him a picture of two adults.

"You see, my father was a explorer, he loved Egypt so much that he married an Egyptian. My mother, who was quite an adventurer herself" She told him.

"Ok, I get your mother and I get your father. I get your brother as well, but you I just don't get" Evy gets up to her feet, insulted.

"I may not be an explorer, or an adventurer, or a treasure hunter, or a gunfighter! Mister O'Connell But I'm proud of what I am" O'Connell looks up to her and asks "And, what is that?"

She holds her head up high "I am a librarian" She smiles and kneels down next to O'Connell, looking right into his face "I am going to kiss you now, Mister O'Connell"

He looked at her back, with a smile on his face "Call me Rick" Evy smiles and leans in for the kiss, only to pass out in his arms.

--

Howard sat next to his injured friend. The sleeve of the black top was cut away to reveal white bandages, meaning the bleeding has finally stopped. Once the bullet was out, O'Connell asked Howard to hold Vince down while he cleaned the wound with some water and some of Jonathan's seagrams. When the seagrams touched the wound, Howard prayed to any Gods that were listening that Vince would never make that scream of pain ever again in his life.

He stroked his friend's face, which was more paler then usual now from the blood loss. He nearly lost Vince again today, and it's was his own fault for not watching where he was going, for not protecting his younger friend. He closed his eyes and sighed while stroking the goth's soft hair, not notising Vince's eyes were open.

"Howard?" He asked, weakly, almost a whisper. But Howard heard it.

"Vince, thank God. I thought you'd never wake up" His friend tried to sit up, only to slink back down with a gasp of pain "Don't move, you've been shot. O'Connell patched you up good. I'm so sorry Vince, you're hurt again and it's my fault" Blue eyes tinged with pain looked at him.

"No, it's my fault. I tripped over that rock, never even saw it there" Howard couldn't help but smile at his friend's clumsiness "You never did anything wrong, I feel I've more let you down" Howard grabbed one of his hands.

"Don't you ever think that Vince. Don't you ever!" Vince's mouth opened with shock at his friend shouting at him "You could never let me down, I've more let you down, I should have been protecting you. Don't you even know how important you are to me? Even more then a friend?" Howard stopped shouting as he admitted his feelings. Vince just looked at him in shock before speaking "You love me?"

Howard looked away and nodded, prepering for the worst. Instead, he found his hand being held more firmly. He looked back to see Vince smiling a tired grin at him "I love you too, you nut. I just couldn't tell you incase you didn't"

Howard smiled and placed a small kiss on Vince's lips, only to find his head being hel by the other arm and the kiss deepening. They only broek apart to get some much needed air into their now empty lungs, smiling at each other. Howard then lay down next to his new lover and held him in his arms, covering him in warmth from the still cold air, Vince smiling as they both went to sleep.

O'Connell looked over to the pair and smiled "At least someone's got what they wanted on this trip so far" He said quietly to himself, before lying down and drifting off himself.

--

there we go howince yay. now my faithful reviewers, my next story to write in going to be placed into yours hands. i will give you three choices of what story i should write after this one and i want you to tell me what sounds best in your reviews.

1. mighty boosh crossed with labyrint

2. mighty boosh crossed with anastasia

3. mighty boosh crossed with aladdin.

thank you all who've reviewed so far from chugirl2526.


	6. Discoveries and Escapes

Mummy Boosh.

Summery- By popular demand. While watching The Mummy on Naboo's new shaman DVD player, Vince and Howard get sucked into the film and must stay alive until the end to get out again.

Disclaimer- Mighty Boosh is owned by Noel and Julian. The Mummy is owned by Steven Sommers.

Author's notes: Because of how sucessful the part in the last chapter was, i'm not making this story a slash fic, mainly fluff though thank you all who inspired it. Also a bit of Vince angst and a strong word in it, sorry

--

Chapter Six- Discoveries and Escapes.

Inside the chamber under Anubis the next morning, Evy, O'Connell and Jonathan looked extremely hungover as they tried to slide the stone covering off the sarcophagus.

Vince and Howard stood by and watched them. Vince woke up in some pain, but was still quite bright eyed and bushy tailed to start the day. Howard tried to make him rest some more, but his lover was determined to see what all the fuss was about. With his arm in a sling and some food in him, the goth shot off towards the chamber from yesterday.

"I can't belive you let me get drunk" Evy shouted, but not too loudly.

"Don't blame me, I can't remember being there" Jon protested back.

"Neither do I, now you metion it" She answered back. O'Connell looked hurt.

"You don't?" He asked. She gave him a nervous look.

"Why? Should I?" He gives her a cheesey grin

"Hell yeah, you said it was the best time you ever had" Evy looked so embrassed, so she turned around and kept sliding the cover over. It soon fell off onto the stone floor, when a loud crash. Evy, O'Connell and Jonathan held their sore heads, while the boosh boys couldn't help but laugh.

--

With the Americans, four diggers reach into the secret compartment. They slowly pull out a stone chest and set the chest down on the sandy floor. The Egyptologist begins to translates the hieratics.

"There is a curse upon this chest" He told them.

"Curse my ass" Daniels swore "Yeah, who cares?" Henderson asked.

The Egyptologist gives them the evil-eye

**"**In these hallowed grounds, that which was set forth in ancient times, is as strong today, as it was then"

Henderson rolls his eyes, not beliving it "Okay, what's it say?"

The Egyptologist slowly and carefully reads the inscription"Death will come on swift wings to whomever opens this chest".

A gust of wind blows into the chamber making the torches flicker. All the Diggers suddenly run out of the chamber in fear. The Americans suddenly became very nervous.

The Egyptologistcontinues "It says, there is one, the undead, who if brought back to life, is bound by sacred law to consummate this curse"

"Yeah, well, let's just make sure we don't bring anybody back from the dead then, huh?" He joked in nervous humour.

**"**He will kill all who open this chest,... and assimilate their organs and fluids.And in so doing he will regenerate. And no longer be the undead, but a plague upon this earth" Beni swore somethingin Hungerian and ran out off the chamber in fear as well.

The Americans just opened the chest anyway, dust covering them.

--

Inside with Evy's party, the wooden part of the sarcophagus they found was showing.

"I've dreamed about this ever since I was a little girl" Evy clapped her hands, excitedly.

"You dream about dead guys?" O'Connell asked, getting a look off Evy. She then starts dusting the cover and stops.

"Look, all the sacred spells have been chiseled off. This man must not be condemned in this life, but in the next" Vince and Howard stood next to her, also intriged. Jonathan and O'Connell were too excited to care.

"Tough break" O'Connell said "Yeah, I'm all tears. Let's see who's inside shall we?" Jonathan said, placing the key/box into the lock of the wooden sarcophagus.

He turns it until the lock clicks, then he and O'Connell start slowly pushes the lid. It eventually falls down and the most hideous corpse pops out. Evy, O'Connell and Jonathan screamed, but Howard covered Vince's eyes again. He didn't want these dark images in the goth's colourful world. The corpse was twisted and deformed and looked at them hideously though his empty eye sockets.

"Is he supposed to look like that?" O'Connell asked

"No, mummies are usually still wrapped in bandages and more old looking" Evy answered "This guy still looks...looks..."

"...Juicy?" Jonathan finished her sentence.

"Yes, he's more than four thousand years old and still decomposing" Evy answered.

"Look at this" O'Connell pointed to the lid on the floor. There are fingernail scratches and dried blood over it.

"Oh my god. this man was buried alive" Evy points out, shocked "And he left a message "Death is only the beginning""

Jonathan looked around nervously, Vince and Howard didn't show their fear but deep down they felt it. O'Connell looked around the room "Where's my gun?"

Jonathan shouted "What are you going to do? Shoot it?"

"If it comes to life, hell yeah" O'Connell answered back.

--

Back with the Americans, they lift the lid off the chest. Inside, there was a sack which they unfurled to reveal a black obsidian book.

"I have heard told of this book, but I never truly believed it existed. This, good gentlemen, is a most priceless treasure. The Black Book of the Dead" The Eygptologist told them.

Henderson kicked the sandy floor in anger "No, I wouldn't trade it for a brass spitton" He then kicked the chest to reveal a lower compartment, filled with five jewel encrusted canopic jars. One is shattered and without jewels.

"Now we're on to something" Henderson smiled.

--

At night, the two camps came together for dinner. Howard sat with O'Connell and Beni as they roasted some meat over a fire. Jonathan and Vince walked over to them and sat next to them, winkling their noses at the smell of the food.

"What is this stuff? It smells like our late friend, the Warden" Jonathan looked horrified at the grins on the three faces looking at him.

"Rat gizzards. Smell bad, but taste worst. The best the desert have to offer according to O'Connell" Howard said, smiling at his lover who had a look of a mix of amusment and disgust on his face, before sitting next to him.

"Say O'Connell, whadaya think thesell fetch back home?" Henderson asked, waving his about.

"We hear you gentlemen found yerselves a nice gooey mummy. Congratulations" Burns said, scarcastically.

"Ya know if ya dry him out, you can sell him for firewood" The Americans laughed..

Evy came over and sits next to O'Connell, in between him and Jonathan, and places a load of bug skeletons on the floor.

"Scarabs, flesh eaters, I found them inside our friend's coffin. They can stay alive for years living off the flesh of a corpse" She told them.

"Are you saying somebody threw these things in with our guy, and they slowly ate him alive? O'Connell asked, horrified looking at the skeletons.

"Very slowly" Evy answered, holding one of them in her hands. Vince holds one in his hand and thinks how well they'd make nice jewellery if they were made of precious stones.

"He certainly was not a popular fellow when they planted him" Jonathan said plainly.

"Must of got a little too frisky with the Pharaoh's daughter" O'Connell joked.

"According to my readings, our friend suffered the Hom-Dai, the worst of all ancient Egyptian curses, one reserved for only the most evil blasphemers. In all of my research, I've never read of this curse actually having been performed" Evy told them again.

"That bad eh?" O'Connell asked.

"Yes, they never used it because they feared it so. It's written, that if a victim of the Hom-Dai should ever arise, he would bring with him the ten plagues of Egypt" Evy was turning into a storyteller, everyone around her listening closely.

"Let's see..There was frogs, flies, locusts..." Jonathan started the lsit of the ten plagues.

"...Hail and fire..." Evy continued.

"...The sun turning black..." Henderson spoke next.

"...Water turning into blood..." Daniels continued.

"...And finally, my favourite, boils and sores" Jonathan ended.

All the men shared nervous looks, while Evy just laughed and pulls out a meat stick from the fire "Rat gizzard, anyone?"

--

Evy takes a walk round the camp, and sees the Eygptoloist asleep, the Book of the Dead and a jar under his arms. As quietly as she could, Evy tip-toes over to him and steals the book quickly from under his arms and takes it back towards their camp.

She finds O'Connell and Jonathan asleep. Vince was still awake, still playing around with the bug skeleton from before. The pain in his shoulder was making it difficult to sleep, but he sat close to his lover. He looked up at Evy and smiled. O'Connell then woke up and saw the book in Evy's arms.

"That's called stealing you know" He mentioned.

"According to you and my brother, it's called borrowing" She knelt down in the sand, with the book resting on a rock.

O'Connell and Vince moved closer "Are you sure you should be playing with that thing?"

"It's only a book. No harm came from reading a book" She opened the book and the fire flickers. O'Connell and Vince shared a nervous look, then turned back to Evy, who was reading from the book easily.

--

Inside the mummy's chamber, Evy's voice echoed in the vast chamber. The anicient Eygptian words filled the room, the corpse's eyes opened and it screamed an unearthly scream.

--

The Eygptologist woke up suddenly from his bed "NO. You must not read from the book!" He yelled.

A strange, piercing sound is heard coming from out of the desert. O'Connell, Vince and Evy found it best to wake up Jonathan and Howard. The Americans run out of their tents. The sound starts to get louder and closer. And then from out of the darkness a huge wall of locusts swirls into the camp and envelops everyone.

O'Connell grabs Evelyn and with Jonathan, Vince and Howard at their side they race for the crevice trying to fend off the horrid vermin as they go. Beni and the Americans run for the temple.

The Egyptologist is covered in locusts. He stares at The Book Of The Dead, looking haunted "What have we done?"

--

Evy, O'Connell and Jonathan ran down the narrow corridor, picking locusts of themselves. Vince was trying to shake them from his hair, with Howard helping.

"Did you see that!? Locusts! Billions of locusts!" Jon screeched with fright.

"That's one of the plagues, right? The locust plague?" O'Connell asked.

"This is not a plague. It's generational. Every so many years the locusts of Egypt have a population explosion and they all take flight" Evy told them, until she trod on something squishy.

O'Connell shined a light down to her feet " Okay,... and what about frogs?"

--

The Americans and Beni ran down another corridor, until Burns tripped and fell. His glasses skidded across the sand and got smashed in the rush. He staggers to his feet and squints, making his way down the corridor by keeping his hands on the wall.

About ten feet in front of him, there was a figure of a man "Daniels, is that you?" He called out. He staggers a little more towards the figure "Henderson?" He asked.

Burns trips and falls into the rotton chest of the figure. He takes his hand out and screams, before a skeletal hand covers his mouth.

--

Evy's party walked slowly up a narrow corridor, then the sand shifted and live flesh eating scarabs crawled out of a hole. The gang ran from them and down a pathway surround by pits. Jonathan, Howard and O'Connell jumped onto a couple of pedestals, while Evy and Vince hides inside a grotto. The wall behind her opened and they fell into the opening.

When the scarabs had past them, Jonathan and O'Connell looked around to fine someone was missing "Evy?" Jon shouted out "Vince?" Howard shouts out as well.

--

Evy sat up in the sand, gathering her bearings. She stood up and saw Vince getting up, then they both looked around, hearing a moaning noise. They turned around and saw one of the Americans standing in the middle of the floor.

"Mister Burns, we're glad you're here. We don't know where-" She stopped when he turned around and showed his eyes were missing. He started trying to talk, but his tounge was missing too, making his speech difficult.

Evy and Vince backs away from him, only to bump into something worse. The mummy they had found, was watching her though fresh eyeballs, and and made them walk backwards to the back of the cavern wall.

The mummy squinted though his new eyes at Evy, then at Vince. A memory came to him as he watched the goth "Anck-Su-Namun?" He asked in anicient Eygptian.

--

Jonathan, Howard and O'Connell were trying to find the opening of the back of the grotto.

"Damn-it! Must be a trap door around here or somethin'" O'Connell said. They turned around when they heard men screaming. Coming down the pathway was the Americans and one of the diggers.

"Run, you sons of bitches, run" Henderson yelled to them. The three men joined them running and the digger tripped. O'Connell went to go back to help him, but the flesh eating scarabs go to the digger first, stripping his flesh from his skeleton. Jonathan, Howard and the Americans react with horror, and O'Connell runs past them.

--

The mummy kept getting closer to Vince, until O'Connell came flying into the room.

"There you are. Would you two quit playin, around! Let's get outta here already!" He turned around and saw the mummy, then jumps back in fright. Jonathan, Howard and the other two Americans came though the doorway and jumped back in fright at the sight of the mummy. the jazz mavarick wanted to go to his lover, but fear made him stand still.

The rotting corpse then opened his mouth and let out an almighty scream. O'Connell then screams back at him and shoots him with his rifle, blowing the mummy off his feet. He then grabbed Evy and ran out of the chamber, Jonathan and the Americans following, Howard grabbing Vince on the way out.

--

Outside, they were surprised to see ten Med-jai, their weapons aimed at them. The Eygptologist was on his knees with his hands above his head, as the leader stepped fowards.

"My name is Ardeth Bay, leader of the Med-jai. I told you to leave or die, you refused, and now you may have killed us all. For you have unleashed the creature that we have feared for more than four thousand years"

"Relax, I got him" O'Connell answered back.

"No mortal weapons can kill this creature. He is not of this world" Ardeth stepped back so two warriors dragged Burns into plain view, the bandage been removed from his eyes so everyone could see the vacent sockets.

"You bastards, what did you do to him?" Henderson yelled, gathering his friend into his arms.

"We saved him! Saved him before the creature could finish his work. Now leave, all of you, quickly, before he finishes you all" Ardeth answered.

Ardeth continued "We must now hunt him down, and try and find a way to kill him, before he consumes the earth"

"I told you, I got him" O'connell said. Adreth turned around to face him.

"Know this, the creature will be coming for you. He must consummate the curse. And until he does, he will never eat, he will never sleep, and he will never stop" He said.

"What is the creature's name?" Howard asked, curiously.

"You may call him Imhotep, but we shall keep on calling him the creature" As the Med-jai entered the cave, Vince broke down in tears of fear. What happened to Burns could have happened to him, or Howard, and that wouldn't do. His lover comforted him as they moved away to packed their stuff.

--

Beni slowly backs up around Anubis, eyes wide, gun up. He turns around and Imhotep is standing right there. Beni drops his gun and grabs at the chains around his neck, religious symbols and icons dangle from each chain. Beni holds the first one up: a Christian cross. He quickly makes the sign of-the cross and blesses himself in English.

**"**May the good Lord protect and watch over me as a shepherd watches over his flock. And may Satan in all his forms be vanquished forever" It has no effect on Imhotep, who continues forward.

Beni quickly grabs at the other symbols and icons, holding them out towards Imhotep, one after the other, trying to slow his progress: an Islamic Sword and Crescent Moon necklace; a Hindu Brahma medallion; a small Buddhist Bodhisattva statue. All while blessing himself in Arabic, Hindi, Chinese and Latin.

Nothing works. Imhotep's skeletal hand reaches for Beni's throat And then he holds up the Star of David and blesses himself in Hebrew. Imhotep stops in his tracks. His hand lowers. His grotesque new eyeballs stare at Beni.

**"**The language of the slaves" Imhotep said, in hebrew. He takes a step back.

"I may have use for you. And the rewards will be great" Imhotep said in hebrew still. He reaches into his tattered robe and then holds out in his hand, a tiny pile of little jewels. Beni's eyes widen. Imhotep raises his other hand, it holds the broken canopic jar.

**"**Where are the other sacred jars?" Imhotep yells in hebrew.

--

Everyone above ground got all their stuff ready and got onto the nearest camel, racing of into the distance. A skeletal hand bursts out of the sand, sheriking horribly.

--

I'm sorry this took so long to update, but i'm working on both the labyrinth and anastasia crossover lol from chugirl2526.


	7. More Dangers

Mummy Boosh.

Summery- By popular demand. While watching The Mummy on Naboo's new shaman DVD player, Vince and Howard get sucked into the film and must stay alive until the end to get out again.

Disclaimer- Mighty Boosh is owned by Noel and Julian. The Mummy is owned by Steven Sommers.

Author's notes: Because of how sucessful the part in the last chapter was, i'm not making this story a slash fic, mainly fluff though thank you all who inspired it.

--

Chapter Seven- More Dangers.

British Fort, Cairo.

Evy and Rick are inside Evy's bedroom. A steamer trunk is flung open after being thrown on the floor, Rick is chucking a load of dresses into it.

"I thought you didn't believe in this stuff?" He shouted, as Evy started taking the dresses back out again.

"Having an encounter with a four thousand year old walking-talking corpse tends to convert one" She answered, as Rick made his way to the wardrobe again.

"Forget it, we're out the door down the hall and gone" Rick interupted her.

"No we are not. We woke him up, and we must try and stop him" Evy was still unpacking her clothes.

"We? What we? I told you not to play around with that thing" Rick said angerly.

"Fine. I... I read from the book, I woke him up and I intend to stop him" Evy placed her hands on her hips, irritated.

"How? You heard the man, there is no mortal way of killing him" Rick said.

"Well, we'll just have to find an immortal way" She said and in her haste, she slammed the ld of the trunk on top of Rick's hands. He yelled in pain and stuck his fingers in his mouth.

"According to that Book, once this creature has been reborn, his curse will spread, and as he grows in strength, so will his curse grow, infecting the people until the whole of the earth is destroyed" Evy continued, while still unpacking her belongings.

"Is that my problem?" Rick yelled, his fingers still plusing with hurt.

"It's everyone's problem now" She yelled back.

"Look lady, I appreciate you saving my life and all, but when I signed on, I agreed to take you out there and bring you back, and I did, now were even, end of job, end of story, contract terminated"

"Is that all I am to you, a contract?" Evy was so angry and humilated.

"You can tag along with me, or you can stay here and try to save the world?" Rick gave her a choice.

"I'm staying" Evy finalised, crossing her arms across her chest.

"Fine" Rick yelled, slamming the door behind him. He then walked back into the room, and threw down a teddy he had currently held.

--

Inside their own room, Howard was lying on the bed next to Vince, who was sleeping. The rush on the camels away from those cursed ruins caused Vince more pain, so he went to their room to lie down from a rest. Howard got his some water for when he woke up and lay next to him, wrapping his arms around his lover.

"I promise to look after now Vince, you're not gonna be hurt anymore" Howard whispered, stroking the goth's hair.

"Thank you, Howard" He looked down to see Vince's eyes open, a tinge of pain still in them but looking much better then before.

"Come on, let's have a look at the wound" Howard sat his friend up and removed the top Vince had been wearing for two days, then the bandages from around the shoulder. The gunwound had healed a bit, clotting nicely "It's looking better then before" He smiled down at Vince, but the smile left his face when he saw tears gathering in his lover's eyes.

"I'm so scared now, Howard. That thing wants me for something and I think it's for a sacrifice, like in the film. If we have to get out of here, I think something bad's gonna happen to me or you" Howard gathered Vince in his arms and let him cry his fears away on his shoulders

--

Rick made his way down into the casbah of the fort. An older guy with a walrus mustache is drunk and talking to some tough customers. He wears British WWI fighter pilot gear.

"I'm the last of the Royal Force still stationed here, you know? All the other laddies died in the air and were buried in the sand" The pilot said, walking with Rick to the actually bar. "Ever since the end of the Great War, there hasn't been a single challenge worthy of a man like me"

They make their way over to Jonathan, who was looking at the key/box. Rick flicked him in the head and Jon put it away, pouring shots of whisky from a bottle he just bought "Well, we've all got our own problems, don't we Winston?" Rick said, taking his own shot.

"I just wish I would've chucked it with the other laddies, gone down in a flame of glory, instead of sitting around here, rotting from boredom and booze" He took the shot Jonathan was- well did, hold and knocked it back in one go "Oh well, back to the airfield" Winston slapped them both on the back and walked off.

"Tell me, is your sister...?" Rick began to ask, but Jonathan cut in "Oh yes, very much so" Henderson and Daniels stood beside them and Jonathan began pouring shots again.

"Well, we're all packed up, but the damn boat dosen't leave till tomorrow" Henderson complained, taking his shot.

"Tails set firmly between your legs, I see?" Jonathan asked.

"Well, you don't have some walking corpse coming after you" Jonathan asked Daniels "How's your friend?"

"He had his tounge and his eyes ripped out, how would you feel?" He said, irratated.

--

In another part of the fort, Burns was currently have visitors in his room: Beni and a stranger in some ragged robes and a Eygptian death mask.

"I'm so glad to meet you" Burns spoke with a severe speech impediment (of course you would too, with your tounge ripped out). He also had a bandage around where his eyes would have been. He reached out his hand to shake hands with the stranger.

Beni stopped his hand "Prince Imhotep does not like to be touched, silly Eastern supersition I'm afraid"

"Please forgive me" Burns pleaded, leaning forwards and knocking over a cup of tea on the table.

"Mister Burns, Prince Imhotep thanks you for your hosbilality, -- and for your eyes,... and for your tongue. But more is needed, the Prince says he must finish the job, consummate the curse which you and your friends have brought down upon yourselves".

Burns screamed as best as he could as Imhotep took of the mask, and showed his horried corpse like face.

--

Rick, Jonathan and Henderson were still at the bar, Daniels had gone away. The four of them slugged down thier shots, then spat it back out.

"Sweet Jesus, that tasted like...like..." Henderson said in horror.

"...Blood" Rick finished.

"And the rivers and waters of Egypt went red and were as blood" Jonathan quoted, looking in wonder at the water fountain in front of them, now sprinkling out red liquid.

"He's here" Rick said, walking off to find Evy.

--

Evelyn calmly steps into a courtyard carrying a book she was reading. A blast of thunder and lightning scares her. She hears a voice calling her and she turns around. It's O'Connell, breathing hard.

"We've got problems" He huffed out. And that's when a barrage of hail and fire slams into the courtyard. Rick and Evy run under the eaves.

"He's here. He's definatly here" Rick shouted out above the thunder.

"The creature? Are you sure?" Evy asked, confused.

Rick waved his arms at the hail and fire outside "Pretty sure".

They then race up the stairs after hearing a scream and got into Burn's room.

--

Howard heard the screams, and knew he should investigate. He looked down at Vince in his arms, who went back to sleep and laid him back down on the bedcovers. He kissed his lover on the forehead and went out the room, finding the others and followed them into Burn's room.

Evy spots Burn's shirveled up corpse and gasps, putting her hands to her mouth. Rick looks over to the other side and draw his gun. Imhotep was regenerating, Burn's skin was beginning to cover his bones and rotton flesh. As soon as it began, it was finished.

"We are in serious trouble" Rick said, getting his gun out. Imhotep starts coming towards him and Evy, so Rick opens fire. The bullets just shoot off bits of rotton skin. Jonathan, Howard, Henderson and Daniels came into the room and tried to pull out their own guns.

Imhotep knocked Rick into the guys (But Howard stepped to the side just in time) and ran out the room, towards where Vince was. Howard ran after him, but the mummy was quicker and was leaning over the goth. Vince was awake, but still with fear, his blue eyes wide with panic.

"You saved me from the undead. For this, I shall make you immortal" Imhotep spoke to him in anichant Eygptian. He was about to kiss Vince when a tinkling could be heard, the white cat was on the table by the window and just knocked off a small vase in the room. Imhotep screeched and turned into a sand whirlwind, blowing himself out of a window.

Rick said "We are in very serious trouble" as Howard gathered his lover up in his arms, holding the trembling form close.

--

Evy, Jonathan, O'Connell, the two other Americans and the boosh boys made their way up the stairs of the Cairo museum where Vince was first found. Vince was still nervous, staying next to Howard whenver possible.

"There's only one person who can tell us what's going on" Evy said, turning into a large room. Inside, they saw the curator talking to Ardeth Bay "You" The guys took out their guns, while Howard held Vince closer.

"Miss Carnahan, gentlemen" The curator greeted them coolly.

"What's he doing here?" Evy asked, anger getting to her.

"Would you like to know, or would you rather shoot us instead?" All the guns are uncocked and holstered back.

"After what I've just seen, I'm willing to go on a little faith here" O'Connell answered.

Everyone then moves into positions around the Seti the first display. The curator sits in the throne, with Ardeth standing next to him, Jonathan stood in the chariot, while Rick and Evy stood a bit away. Howard and Vince stood in front of the chariot, Howard keeping his arms around his lover, holding him close.

"We are part of an ancient secret society and we have a sacred mission, passed down through thirty-nine generations. For over four thousand years we have guarded The City Of The Dead. We are sworn to do any and all in our power to stop the High Priest Imhotep from being reborn into this world" The curator explained.

"And because of you, we have failed" Ardeth said, annoyed.

"And you think this justifies the killing of innocent people?" Evy asked, appalled.

"To stop this creature? Yes!" The curator yelled.

"Why dosen't he like cats?" Vince asked, his voice failing to hide his nerves.

"Cat's are the guardians of the underworld. Until he's fully regenerated, he will fear them. When he has, he will fear nothing" Ardeth replied.

"And you know how he regenerates? By sucking everybody dry who's opened that chest" Daniels yelled, disgusted.

"Yes, he will regenerate, then bring his love back to live" The curator said. Evy walked over to them.

"In the ruins, after I read the book, he looked at Vince over there, and called him Anck-Su-Namun. And in mister Burns room, Imhotep tried to kiss him" The two men looked over at the goth, who looked away more from nerves, Howard holding him tighter.

"Then he has chosen his sacrifice, although I don't know why he chose a male. But I suppose your young friend is quite feminine looking" Vince blushed, and Howard glared at them "He will also be wanting you miss Carnahan, to help with the sacrifice".

"We better find and destory him quick, his powers are getting stronger" Ardeth said, looking out of a window the whole time.

"...and he stretched forth his hands towards the heavens, and there was darkness throughout the land of Egypt" Jonthan quoted, making chills run through everyone's spines.

--

O'Connell is staring out of a window, Evy and Jonathan are pacing the foyer of Vince's and Howard's room and the two Americans were sitting quietly. Vince and Howard were sitting on the bed in the seperate room.

"I knew something bad was going to happen. What happens if we don't get through this Howard?" Vince asked, sad and nervous. Howard's heart was breaking at the state his lover was in, the usual sunshine and colourful world of Vince Noir was becoming scary and dark, he wasn't used to it. He leant Vince into his embrace "Listen, I love you Vince and I will always protect you, I promise"

This made the goth smile "I love you too, Howard" They both leaned into a passionate kiss, and were getting into it before being interruped by Rick coughing.

"We're going out to find the Eygptologist. If we bring him back here, we might stand a chance of saving your friend. But me and Jonathan need you to come" O'Connell said, gently.

"I can't left him like this" Howard said, indicating his lover's trembling form and silent tears running down his face.

"Evy and the two Americans will stay here and watch over him, we'll even lock the door to be sure he's safe" Howard let this sink in and nodded "Did you hear all that, Vince?"

"Yes, you better go, just don't get hurt, please" The goth's eyes glowed with unshed tears and Howard was torn between leaving him or helping to save him "I promise Vince" He gave his lover a quick kiss and made his way out of the room. O'Connell then closed the doors and locked them, Howard stared at the rest of the group "Make sure he's safe. If he's hurt when I come back, I'll come after you like a northen bullet" They then left.

--

Beni is wreaking the Eygptologist's office, pulling out drawers and files and throwing them on the floor. He finds a silver pocket watch, shakes it, then throws it into his pocket, then he starts tipping over bookcases and clearing shelves.

"Well, well, spring cleaning?" O'Connell asked behind him. He turned to see the adventurer with Jonathan and Howard, and tried to make a break for it. O'Connell just picked up a chair and threw it at him, knocking him to the floor.

"Who's your new friend Beni?" Rick asked, lifting up the weasely man and putting a knife under his chin.

"What friend? You are my only friend" Beni tried to talk himself out.

"Don't lie. Who is it and what's in it for you?" O'Connell asked again, anger getting to him and starts digging the knife a bit deeper.

"It is better to be the right hand of the Devil,... than in his path. As long as I serve him, I am immune" Beni replied, a smug grin carved on his face.

"Immune to what?" Rick asked, getting more annoyed.

"You shall see" Beni teased.

"What are you looking for?" Howard asked.

"The book! The black book they found at Hamunaptra! Imhotep wants it back. Said to me it would be worth it's weight in diamonds" Beni paniked.

"What's he want that for?" Jonathan asked.

"Something about bringing his dead girl-friend back to life. He needs the book..." He looks at Howard "And your lover".

Rick looks at Howard's pained face and Beni uses this opportunity to knee O'Connell in the balls, then escape out the window. A scream is then heard out the window, making the guys rush over to the window. Down in the bazaar, people are screaming and quickly backing away from the corpse of the Egyptologist. A partially decayed hand reaches down and takes the sacred canopic jar out of the Egyptologist's shriveled hand.

It's Imhotep, having regenerated even further. He looks up and catches eyes with O'Connell. Imhotep grins, then unhinges his jaw, his mouth stretches to an inhuman size, and then a huge swarm of flies comes out of his mouth and races straight up at O'Connell, Howard and Jonathan. They slam the shutters. The flies slam into the closed window and immediately spread throughout the bazaar, Sending people screaming and running.

"That's two down and two to go" Jonathan said.

"Then he'll be coming after Vince" Howard said, worried and running out the door, the others behind him.

--

Daniels turns from the window. Henderson sits in a chair next to Vince's door, chain smoking. Both look wired with fear, while Evy is asleep on the sofa in the room.

"The hell with this. I'm going downstairs to get me a drink. You want somethin'? Daniels asked his mate.

"Yeah, get me a glass of bourbon, a shot of bourbon and a bourbon chaser" Henderson answered. Daniels nodded, then left the room. Henderson just sits there and keeps smoking. He reaches into his jacket pocket, pulls out his sacred canopic jar and fondles it. A breeze suddenly comes in through the open window and the curtains flutter. Henderson gets up and goes over to shut it and he looks out the window. Sand then hits Henderson square in the face and he screams. He is lifted into the air by a mass of swirling sand and his body twists, turns and slowly shrivels as the life is sucked out of him. Then he collapses to the floor.

On the wall above him, the sand condenses to form a shadow of a human body regenerating. Imhotep steps into view and looks almost normal now, his face no longer decayed. He steps over Henderson's shriveled body and up to Vince's door, rattles the knob and finds it's locked. Imhotep grins as he makes his way through the keyhole as a pile of sand. He then turns back into himself and makes his way over to the bed, leaning over the sleeping goth.

The door bangs loudly as Howard and O'Connell start pounded on the door. Imhotep ignores it and kisses Vince, his mouth and lips start to decay. The door bursts open, waking Vince up and he screams when he sees the mummy's rotting lips kissing him, shoving him away.

"Keep your hands of my electro ponce" Howard yelled, more angry then he's ever been. Imhotep then starts to move towards them.

"Look what I've got" O'Connell says, bringing out Evy's white cat from behind his back. Imhotep sees this and turns into a sand tornado, spinning out of the bedroom window. Howard goes over to his lover, who is wiping his mouth in disgust "Vince, are you ok?"

"I think I'm gonna be sick, Howard" And Vince nearly was on the bed if Howard didn't pick him up and take him to the bathroom. He held the soft long hair back as Vince retched into the toilet 'Dear God, I broke my promise to him. I'm not letting him out of my sight again, ever' Howard thought, as Vince finally collapsed into his arms.

--

Next chapter yay finally lol also got mighty boosh 3 dvd today and am now addicted to eel song hopefully i might start my labyrinth crossover tomorrow, but until then i hopw this tieds you over. from chugirl2526.


	8. Chases, Captures and Plane Rides, oh my!

Mummy Boosh.

Summery- By popular demand. While watching The Mummy on Naboo's new shaman DVD player, Vince and Howard get sucked into the film and must stay alive until the end to get out again.

Disclaimer- Mighty Boosh is owned by Noel and Julian. The Mummy is owned by Steven Sommers.

Author's notes: thank you all who inspired this story.

--

Chpater Eight- Chases, Captures and Plane Rides, oh my!

Naboo and Bollo were still watching the film, angry and upset on how Howard and Vince were being hurt, mentally and physically. They were quite pleased they got together, it was about bloody time actually, they took long enough.

"Can we not just eject them out?" Bollo asked.

"No, if we take the film out with them in it, they could be trapped inside forever. We just have to wait until they make it to the end of the film" Naboo asnwered, in dispair he couldn't help his friends.

--

Jonathan drove his car into the driveway of the museum, as down in the bazaar a green mist drifts through. People start choking, before turning itno zombies for Imhotep. Imhotep strolls through the sickened mob, his face half rotted off, his deformed mouth grinning happily. Beni is at his side, looking very nervous. And then, one-by-one, the people silently begin to follow Imhotep, their skin now covered in disgustingly hideous boils and sores.

Inside the museum, O'Connell is walking up the stairs with Evy, the curator with Ardeth, Jonathan with Daniels and Vince with Howard.Evy was thinking up a plan to help her friends.

"Last month I came across an inscription that mentioned The Book Of The Dead. Yes I dismissed it, because it talked about bringing people back from the dead. A notion I was unwilling to believe" She explained.

"Believe it, sister. That's what brought our buddy back to life" O'Connell answered back.

"I'm thinking that if the black Book Of The Dead can bring people back to life -" Evy kept explaining.

"-Then the gold book will destory him" Vince spoke up behind, hopeful.

"That's the myth" Evy finished, deminishing the goth's hope. Then loud chanting is heard coming from outside. They all rush over to the upper windows and look dow to see a large, crazed mob covered in hideous boils and sores, chanting up the driveway 'Imhotep, Imhotep!' The mummy was in the middle of the crowd, directing them towards the museum. He looked up and clearly saw the paniced Vince and smirked, the goth jumped back when he looked at Imhotep.

"Vince, what's wrong?" Howard asked, placing a hand on his lover's shoulder.

"He saw me, Howard. He knows I'm here, he's coming for me" Vince replied, his voice breaking with unshed tears and fear. Howard held him close as his anger towards Imhotep grew. He had never seen Vince so scared in his life, not even when that llama got out at the zoo because Vince had never seen a llama before, said they didn't have them in the forest he grew up in.

The crazed mob crashes into the huge front doors, which are locked. They pound furiously, throwing themselves at it while chanting constantly, as Imhotep solemnly comes up the driveway. The banging on the doors can be heard as Evy and the Curator quickly sort through broken pieces of stone tablets. The others watch as Evy pulls out a large piece. The banging gets louder and multiple windows are shattered as Evy talks while quickly translating the tablet.

"Since the black Book of The Dead was found inside the statue of Anubis, then according to this, the golden Book of The Living should be inside..." She started.

"Where?" All the others yelled at her, making her smile when she finished translating "The golden Book Of The Living, is inside the statue of Horus"

"We have to back out there?" Vince's paniced-striken voice could be heard. They saw his pale complexion pale even more, tears of frustration welling in his eyes. They all felt sorry for him as Howard gathered him closer in their embrace, kissing his forehead and telling him it'll be fine.

"If we want to stop him and save you, then yes Vince" Evy said, gently. The goth sniffed a few more times then agreed, they had to or he and Howard would never get out of the film. Then two hideous boil and sore covered men charge out of a doorway, making Vince scream and Howard drag him away. O'Connell and Ardeth Ray grab them and chuck them over the railing and the men fly through the air and crash into the lower display cases. The front doors suddenly brust open and the crazed mob pours into the museum, making everyone run across the balcony and down the staircase.

--

Jonathan sneaks out of some bushes and quickly heads for his convertible. Suddenly, a splinter group of the diseased mob comes around the side of the museum. Jonathan instantly bugs his eyes out, starts drooling, and begins chanting with them. The crazed group runs past him and heads into the front doors of the museum. Jonathan leaps into the convertible, fires it up and 180's it back over to the bushes. O'Connell, Evelyn, Daniels, Ardeth, the Curator and the boosh boys jump inside the car. Beni steps out of the museum and sees them.

"Imhotep, Imhotep!" He yells, making his master upstairs look out at his prize escaping. He lets out a horrific screech, sending chills down everyone's spines. Howard pressed Vince next to him when they sat down, holding his hand over his lover's head and keeping it down, making sure he never saw anything as the car started rushing down the bazaar, with the zombied mob running after them.

The convertible goes fast down the narrow bazaar street. Crazies start jumping out of stalls and leaping onto the car. O'Connell and the others fight them off, throwing them overboard and Howard tries to bat them off Vince as best as he could while holding his lover's head down. He could hear the frightening whimpers coming from the smaller man and he felt his heart breaking at each sound. This spurred him on at keeping Vince safe. The others whacked some of the mob through some stalls, knocking them off, but not before they manage to open the back door and pull Daniels out.

He tumbles across the pavement and gets up shooting. He backs into a corner, firing his pistol into the hideous rabble, killing several, keeping them at bay. His gun goes empty, but the mob stays back, looking at him like rabid vultures. Daniels eyes them, filled with fear as the mob parts like the red sea as Imhotep walks through them and up to Daniels. Then he gets an idea, reaches into his pocket, and pulls out his jewel encrusted sacred canopic jar. He holds it out for Imhotep, whos it and grins. Through his tears, Daniels grins back, hopeful that he'll be spared. Instead, he yells out a blood curdling scream.

Then suddenly Jonathan loses control of the car and slams into a wall. O'Connell grabs Evelyn and Howard keeps his strong grip on Vince as they all leap out of the car, but the angry, festering mob quickly surrounds them. The crazed, chanting mob parts and then Imhotep steps through, now fully regenerated. He looks as young and handsome and muscular as he did the day he was buried alive. Evy stares at him in shock and Vince stares at him in fear.

Imhotep walks upto Vince and starts speaking in anichant Eygptian, with Beni translating "Take his hand and he will spare the others"

The goth looked up to see his lover's face, a bit worried when he saw how angry Howard looked. He looked around and saw the way O'Connell and Jonathan were protecting Evy and saw the bloody thristy look in the mob's eyes, and knew what he had to do. He pushed himself away from Howard and nearly took hold of Imhotep's out-streched hand, but his lover stopped him by grabbing his arm.

"No, Vince. Don't" Vince winced when he heard the hurt and worry in Howard's voice "I have to, otherwise he'll kill the others, and more importantly you. If he killed you when I could do something to stop it, I'd never forgive myself" He pressed a kiss to Howard's mouth and grabbed Imhotep's hand, who pulled him close. Howard went forwards to get his lover, but was held back by Ardeth "These is still time to save him, Imhotep has to perform the ceremony yet"

"And the other woman will come with me, to help. If not, I will still harm your friends" Beni continued translating. Evy gave the others a look and walked over to Imhotep and Vince, putting her hand on the goth's shoulder to help calm him down. Imhotep then turns around taking the others with him, Beni went over to Jonathan and grabbed the key from his jacket pocket, before scampering back to his master.

"Kill them" Beni yells translating, making Vince and Evy scrable back towards their friends, but the mob closed up around them. The rabid vultures were moving in for the kill. O'Connell quickly bends down, pulls open a manhole cover and shoves Jonathan and Howard down inside it, then jumps in after him. The Curator pushes Ardeth towards the hole.

"Go! Find a way! Kill the creature!" The curator yelled, drawing out his sword and striking down people from the mob, giving the others a chance to escape. But soon the mob was upon him, and his last sounds were him yelling in pain.

--

Jonathan's bashed-in convertible steams it's way up to a set of semi-abandoned Quonset huts. A single WWI biplane with R.A.F. insignias sits in the sand beside them. These is a sign reading: His Majesty's Royal Air Corp. O'Connell, Jonathan, Howard and Ardeth stand before Winston Havlock.

"So what's your little problem got to do with His Majesty's Royal Air Corp?" The old pilot asked.

"Not a damn thing" O'Connell answered.

"Is it dangerous?" Winston asked, curious.

"Well, everyone else we've bumped into has died, why not you?" Jonathan asked, not notising the worried look on Howard's face as he thought of his lover in danger.

"So what's the challenge then?" Winston asked again.

"To save the damsels in distress, kill the bad guy and steal his treasure" O'Connell answered, making the old pilot smile.

Way off across the desert, a large sand-whirlwind races over the dunes. It comes to a stop and starts to dissipate. Evy, Vince and Beni are suddenly ejected out of it and they land in a dune, a few miles away from Hamunaptra. The sand then forms into Imhotep, looking up into the sky, listening carefully. Then they hear a plane in the sky and look up.

"Howard" Vince called out happily. Imhotep then unhinges his jaw, making his mouth open to an inhuman size. He lets fly with another one of his horrible shrieks and a massive wall of sand rises up out of the desert.

The wind whips at Winston in the cockpit. O'Connell sits in the gunner's compartment, with Jonathan is strapped spread-eagle across the left wing, Ardeth Ray is tied tight to the right and Howard tied in the middle of the wings. O'Connell watches the desert below him come alive and rise up towards the plane. Winston looks over the side and sees what's coming and laughs, throws the throttle, and puts the plane into a dive.

O'Connell looks back into the blinding sand and sees a giant face forming inside the sandstorm, until it's Imhotep grinning. O'Connell grabs the Lewis machine-gun, cocks the bracket and fires blasting away at Imhotep's giant face inside the sandstorm. Imhotep's face begins to laugh, then his jaw unhinges, his mouth opens wide and he engulfs the plane. Winston blindly fights for control, elated. The biplane spins inside the blowing sand. Jonathan, Howard and Ardeth are screaming with Winston laughing.

Vince knew something had to be done, and he notised Imhotep had to concentrate very hard to control the sand wall. 'Howard better be grateful for this' The goth thought, as he grabbed Imhotep's face and kissed him hard, startling the mummy out of his trance. The wall disappeared and Vince and Evy jumped for joy, only to see the plane crash into the dunes in the distance.

Vince felt his tears fall freely down his face as he thought how badly injured his lover could be. He tried to walk towards them, but Imhotep grabbed his arm hard and dragged him towards the ruins, with Beni bringing Evy behind them.

--

The biplane smashes over a dune, rolls over and crashes upside- down into another dune. The sand swirls as O'Connell falls out of the gunner's compartment. The left wing is jammed into the dune, Jonathan hangs upside down and Howard is lying on his back a few feet away.

"Excuse me... A little help would be useful... IF IT'S NOT TOO MUCH TROUBLE!!" Jonathan yelled.

O'Connell goes to help Jonathan and Howard, as Ardeth stumbles over to the gunner's compartment and tears the Lewis gun off it's mount. He throws the machine-gun over one shoulder, a cartridge belt over the other and staggers away and stands next to Howard. O'Connell and Jonathan look into the cockpit to see Winston Havlock is dead, a smile on his face. The plane suddenly starts to move, the sand sinks under their feet and they quickly high-tail-it away. O'Connell, Jonathan, Howard and Ardeth make it to some rocks and look back. The biplane, with Winston inside, slides away over a dune. O'Connell gives it a salute as the plane vanishes over the dune and into the sands.

--

there we go, new chapter. i'm gonna try and finish this before doing the rest of my labyrinth story lol one more chappie left from chugirl2526.


	9. The End of the Film

Mummy Boosh.

Summery- By popular demand. While watching The Mummy on Naboo's new shaman DVD player, Vince and Howard get sucked into the film and must stay alive until the end to get out again.

Disclaimer- Mighty Boosh is owned by Noel and Julian. The Mummy is owned by Steven Sommers. I also kinda used one of my old fics and the script for this lol.

Author's notes: thank you all who inspired this story. Last chapter cries my story is all grown up now lol. warning: much angst in this chapter as well lol

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Chapter Nine- The End of the Film.

O'Connell, Jonathan, Howard and Ardeth come down a ravine in the volcano and look out over the ruins of Hamunaptra.

"What does this Horus character look like?" Howard asked.

"He's a big guy with pointed ears and a falcon's face" Jonathan answered.

O'Connell nods as they make their way into the bowels of Hamunaptra using a long stairway, carring torches as they went.

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Evy and Vince follows Imhotep into the underground cemetery. They stop at the sight of all the big hairy rats scurrying through the gravestones. Beni shoves his rifle into Vince's back and pushes him forward, Evy caught him just in time before he fell.

"Keep moving" The weasely man ordered.

"You know, nasty little fellows such as yourself, always get their comeuppance" Evy sneered.

"Really?" Beni asked, worried.

"Oh, yes. Always" Evy answered, walking away with Vince. Beni looks even more worried and he nervously starts chewing on his lip. All four of them walk over the bridge crossing the disgusting detritus moat. Evy and Vince look down at it, horrified.

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O'Connell and Ardeth are busy digging out a collapsed doorway. Jonathan notices an amethyst scarab on the far wall.

**"**I say, look at that" He metions.

He walks over and tries to jiggle it free and soon it comes loose in his hand. He looks at the scarab in his palm, then hands it to Howard. It starts to glow and then something inside it starts to wiggle.

"Hey, look at this thing in Howard's hand" Jonathan called again. The wiggling continues and then the scarab breaks out of it's cocoon and instantly burrows into Howard's palm. He starts to freak out and screa, making O'Connell runs up and rips the arm off Howard's shirt, with the scarab is now burrowing up his arm. O'Connell whips out his butterfly-knife, snaps it open and grabs Howards arm.

His eyes widen in terror as the knife passes in front of his face and screams louder, obviously being cut open. O'Connell's hand flicks something away. The scarab hits the floor and immediately starts scurrying back towards Howard, wanting to finish the job. O'Connell pulls out his gun and blows it away.

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The gunshot echoes into the cemetery as Imhotep, Evelyn, Vince and Beni step-up to the strange altar. Imhotep scowls at the sound and angrily reaches into a canopic jar, pulling out the crusted remains of Anck-su-namun's heart, crushes it to dust in his hand and starts reading from The Book Of The Dead. Then he blows the dust against a mausoleum wall, making it come alive. Evelyn, Vince and Beni stare at the wall, all wide-eyed. Two forms emerge from the mausoleum's wall, two of Imhotep's long dead Priests. He sends them off to destory the intruders, but Vince knew Howard was hust somehow and his heart sank.

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O'Connell helps Ardeth mend Howards wound.

**"**From now on, don't touch anything. Not a damn thing and them give it to someone else. Keep your hands off the furniture, got it?" He indicated to Jonathan.

Jonathan swallows hard and nods vigorously.

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Imhotep prepares the altar while speaking in Hebrew. Beni holds his gun on Evy and Vince, translating.

**"**Prince Imhotep wants your heart" He indicates to Vince. The goth blushes, feeling complimented.

**"**Tell him, I'm flattered... but that it's already taken, mate" Imhotep continues speaking while laying the four jewel encrusted canopic jars next to a shattered one.

**"**He also wants your heart and your brain, your liver, your kidneys..." Evelyn's eyes widen, while Vince's face was drained of what colour was in it "...and how do you say? Those slimy things, in your stomach?"

**"**Intestines?" Evy asnwered.

**"**Yeah! Them" Beni answers back. Vince looks in fear and turns to the mummy.

Imhotep looks at him and grins, then backhands him, knocking him down for the count. Evy goes to help, but Beni stops her by pointing his gun at her. Imhotep just smiles and walks out the room, leaving them alone.

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O'Connell squeezes through a small crevice in a wall and drops to the floor of a dark chamber. He picks up his gunnysack and scans the darkness. Something glitters in the distance, as Howard, Jonathan and Ardeth crawl in behind him. O'Connell notices a shaft of light high above him, shooting through a small hole in the ceiling and stopping against a wall next to one of those mirror disks. O'Connell aims his gun and fires, the bullet strikes the disk's pedestal, spinning the mirror into the shaft of light. The whole chamber is lit up, showingan enormous treasure chamber, filled to overflowing. O'Connell, Jonathan, Howard and Ardeth are speechless, then two mummified Priest-mummies walk in.

**"**Who the hell are these guys?" O'Connell asked.

"Priests. Imhotep's priests" Ardeth answered. O'Connell pulls the elephant gun out of his gunny-sack and a smaller pistol for Howard.

**"**I've never killed a priest before" Rick said.

**"**They are evil, cursed, they matter not" The Med-jai chief answered.

O'Connell shurgs, then fires the elephant gun and blasts one of the mummies, blowing it's upper torso clean off. He then does the same to the other mummy, but the two sets of legs keep walking forward, unaffected by the loss of their upper torsos. O'Connell can't believe it and justs keeps firing.

A dusty breeze then blows into the chamber as O'Connell, Jonathan, Howard and Ardeth back away from the mummy pieces. The floor where they were just standing suddenly starts to move and two more mummies slowly dig their way up out of the floor. More mummies start coming out of the walls and crawling out of the piles of gold. O'Connell lifts the elephant gun, but Ardeth stops him and opens up with the Lewis gun, blasting the shit out of the mummies.

They keep on coming, but even more now then ever. O'Connell opens fire with the elephant gun, pumping and firing as all four of the men back away and shoots all the mummies. The mummies and mummy pieces follow them into the passageway, then Beni creeps into the chamber. He stares in wonder at all the treasure and falls backwards into a pile of jewels and rolls about.

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Vince wakes up, lying chained to the top of the altar. He blinks and smiles as he tries to remember to tell Howard about doing this at home (hehe), then turns his head and looks right into the rotted face of Anck-su-namun's corpse. Vince screams, disturbing Evy, who's ankle was tied to the floor.

"Vince, calm down. The boys will be here soon to save us, don't worry" Her words did soon calm him down, and so did the thoughts of his lover coming for him.

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O'Connell, Jonathan, Howard and Ardeth race down a passageway, a dozen mummies striding after them, O'Connell and Ardeth firing as they go. Ardeth's gun goes empty and he throws the machine-gun down and they all race into a small chamber. The lower half of the giant statue of Horus stands in the middle of the chamber.

"There he is!" Jonathan yells, as they run up to the base of the statue. O'Connell looks back at the mummies coming down the passageway and he reaches into his gunny-sack and pulls out a stick of dynamite. Ardeth taps him on the shoulder, O'Connell hands him the dynamite and a match, then turns to look at the statue. Ardeth reaches forward and strikes the match off O'Connell's stubbly face, lights the dynamite and throws it down the passageway. They all hit the deck as the dynamite explodes, ripping apart the creatures and causes a cave-in, sealing the passageway with rock and dirt.

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Chained tight to the top of the altar, Vince hopelessly struggles to free himself. He stops as Priest mummies start surrounding the altar and Evy is horrified as the hideous mummies kneel down by her and begin to chant. Imhotep steps up carrying the black Book Of The Dead. His hand reaches out and lovingly caresses Anck-su-namun's decayed cheek. Imhotep begins to read from The Book Of The Dead and a large swirling hole starts to open in the detritus bog. Evy and Vince's eyes widen in amazement and horror.

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O'Connell, Howard and Jonathan redouble their efforts, pulling harder on the seam. The compartment starts to loosen, about to give, then a skeletal hand bursts up out of the ground and grabs O'Connell's ankle. Several more moldy hands burst up out of the ground and grabs the three men. One mummy grabs at the secret compartment and pulls hard, making an intense burst of acid aprays out of the seam and hits allthree of the mummies, which melt horribly.

Ardeth, meanwhile is blasting away at the oncoming mummies with O'Connell's elephant gun. over at the base of the statue, O'Connell and Jonathan pull an ornate chest out of the secret compartment and Howard rips off the lid, reaches inside and pulls out a heavy burlap bag. He and Jonathan exchange nervous, excited looks, then he reaches into the bag and slowly pulls out the solid gold Book Of The Living. Hope filled Howard's heart as he knew the key to saving his love laid within this book.

The elephant gun goes empty, so Ardeth takes it by the barrel and wades into the remaining mummies swinging. The mummies quickly overwhelm and start to tear him apart. O'Connell lights the last stick of dynamite and throws it against the far wall and he, Howard and Jonathan hit the deck. The wall then blows open and they race out through the hole just as the remaining mummies enter the chamber.

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Outside, Beni staggers across the sand with a saddlebag filled with treasure. He throws it over the rear of a camel, starts to climb up and hesitates. Looking back at the temple door, he licks his lips and lets his greed gets the better of him. He quickly climbs down and scurries back towards the door.

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Imhotep is reading from the Book as the rotten Priest-mummies rock back and forth, chanting. Vince struggles with his chains, then suddenly the strange mist wafts up out of the swirling hole and over to the sacred jars, it passes through them and into him. He jerks as though he's been electrified. The mist passes through him and into Anck-su-namun's body, her crusty eyelids suddenly pop open. Vince stares at her in disbelief, as the rotted head turns and looks at him with empty sockets. He freaks out and struggles wildly, then notices Imhotep holding the ancient sacrificial knife.

Imhotep speaks in eygptian and raises it up over Vinces chest, about to plunge it down. The goth's eyes widen in horror and tears leaked down his face. Then Howard and Jonathan burst in, making Imhotep spins around and faces them. Jonathan beams as he holds up the golden Book Of The Living.

"We found it, Evy! We found it" He cheered, Howard looked in horror as he saw Vince going to be stabbed, the goth chained to the altar crying.

**"**Shut-up and get us out of here!" She cries out. O'Connell grabs an ancient sword out of a statue's hand, jumps up onto a gravestone and leaps out over the Priests. The Priest-mummies stop chanting and the mist vanishes. O'Connell strikes the sacrificial knife out of his hand and Imhotep bellows a command. The Priests stand up, swords and knives in hand and they attack O'Connell, who releases Evy.

"Open the book, Jonathan. It's the only way to kill him" Evy called out. Imhotep heard her and stalked over to her brother, who ran off reading the book. Howard, however had ran over to the altar while everyone was busy, where Vince was lying still, his blue eyes screwed shut and black paths left where tears ran down his cheeks.

"Vince, come on. I'm here now, open your eyes" The goth opened one eye, then opened them both in relief when he saw his lover in front of him. A bright grin spread on his face, as Howard picked up the knife Imhotep just had and sliced though the chains holding Vince down. As soon as he was free, the goth grabbed his boyfriend tightly and cried his fear out. Howard just rubbed his back, then remembered where they were "We have to get out of here, Vince"

Vince wouldn't move "We can't go without them, the film won't end then and we can't get out" Then he saw something moving behind Howard and tried to warn him, but Imhotep grabbed his lover and threw him away from the altar. The mummy grabbed the knife that fell out of Howard's hand and pushed Vince back, then bought the knife down upon Vince's torso, making him scream out loud.

Howard heard this and felt more angry then he ever has in his life. He ran over and knocked the mummy down, then saw that the wound was not too deep, but bleeding quite a bit. He cried as he saw tears of pain rolled down Vince's pointed cheeks, but could hear in the background as Jonathan commanded some mummy soliders to re-kill the body of Anck-su-namun.

He turned to see Imhotep angerily walk towards jonathan and strangle him, then turned back as he saw Vince try and speak "Help the others, i'll be fine" He said, giving a weak smile. Howard kissed him on the forehead and helped Evy and Jonathan get the book open. They scrolled through the pages until they came to the right one.

"Kadeesh mal! Kadeesh mal! Pared oos! Pared oos!" Evy cried out, making a blue chariot fly out of the bog and run through Imhotep, taking his immortal soul back into the bog. O'Connell then stood in front of them and stabbed the mummy, making him stumble backwardsinto the bog and killing him.

Howard then ran back over to Vince, who was covered in blood and more pale then before. He gathered his thin lover up in his arms and tried to keep him warm, holding him to his chest. He heard Evy gasp and she rushed over to help, tearing off some of her outfit to press down on the wound to help stop it bleeding, making Vince moan in pain.

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Beni staggers across a chamber, straining under the weight of another saddlebag filled with treasure. He spots a large, ornate staff sticking out of a wall. He throws the saddlebag over the staff and collapses against the wall, exhausted. Then the weight of the treasure pulls the staff down, which starts a massive chain-reaction. Beni-backs away from the wall, wide-eyed and filled with fear. All the walls start to sink into the ground. Driven by tons of pouring sand, Beni turns and runs out of the chamber.

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The gangs gasps in horror as they saw the walls slipping down into the ground. Making Vince comfortable, they ran out of the chamber, Jonathan tripped over and dropped the golden book ino the bog, where it sinks. They ran through the treasure room and crouched under a low door to get out. Beni came running through the room, but was too late. Beni yanks his hand back just as the top of the door crashes to the floor, sealing him in. Beni quickly crawls back down the stairs as the ceiling slams down behind him. He stands up and looks around with his diminishing torch. All the doorways finish closing and then he hears something, and turns around. Over in the corner, a scarab-beetle stares at him, chittering. Beni waves his flickering torch at the scarab and backs away. He stands in the middle of the treasure chamber as dozens upon dozens of scarabs boil up out of the floor around him. Beni is absolutely terrified. The scarabs start to move in and that's when Beni's torch goes out. Beni start screaming in horror and pain and the scarabs chittering hungrily could be heard.

The temple collapses as O'Connell, Evelyn, Jonathan, Vince, being carried by Howard and a pack of stray camels race through the ruins. A sinking crevice drops out right behind them, chasing them out through the front gates. They make it down the ramp as more ruins crash down behind them. A massive cloud of sand and dust billows out over the wall and into the air.

The guys watch as the the dust settles and all that's left are some walls and rocks. Then a hand reached down and scared Jonathan, who umped and scared everyone else, nearly making Howard drop Vince, who was awake and aware of where he was. The turned to see Ardeth istting on a camel, ready to leave. He thanked them for saving the world and rode off. A bright light nearly blinded them as a portal leading back to Vince and Howard's world appeared.

"Well, it's been kinda fun" Howard said, helping Vince stand up straight so Evy could hug him and Jonathan shook their hands. They waved and said goodbye as they went into the bright light.

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The light faded and they found themselves back in their front room of the flat. Naboo and Bollo watched them in shock, until Howard yelled at them "Don't just sit there, help him".

The shaman and his familar jumped to atenttion as Howard took his lover into Vince's bedroom, lying him down on the bed and removing Vince's clothes. The wound on his stomach had stopped bleeding, but still looked quite nasty. Naboo came into the room with a first aid kit and Bollo shooed Howard out of the room until they were done.

Ten minutes later, they came out the bedroom, letting Howard back in. His heart broke when he saw the condition the goth was in. Bandages covered his shoulder and torso, his hair limp, his skin far too pale, his beautiful blue eyes closed as he slept. Howard took his shoes off and lay next to his boyfriend, gathering him gently in his arms and fell into a fitful sleep.

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Howard woke in the middle of the night, to the sound of screams. He sat up quickly to see Vince sat up straight, tears running down his face and gripping his stomach wound. He wasted no time in gathering his lover in his arms and tried calming him down.

"It's alright, I'm here. Nothing's gonna hurt you now. We've got out" Howard whispered, making the smaller man's breathing to even out and his sobs quieten.

"Do you want to know what I dreamed about?" Vince asked, quietly.

"Only if you want to" His lover answered.

"We were back at those ruins and I was still chained to the altar. I saw you in front of me, but that mummy guy, he killed you in front of me. Then I felt I had nothing to live for then, so I let him kill me next" Howard kept a tight hold on Vince as he replayed his dream, running his hand through the silken strands of the goth's hair.

"Listen to me Vince, in the morning we will make sure nothing like that happens again. I promise I'll never let anything happen to you anymore. If you ever died, I couldn't live with myself then. If you go, I'd have to go too"

"No" Vince said, surprising him "I want you to promise me that if I ever die, you must move on, find someone else and live your life"

"You know I can't promise you that" Howard sighed.

"If you truely love me, you'll promise me that" The pain in Vince's voice made Howard wince "Okay, I promise. Could you do the same if I went?"

"Yes" Vince said without a second thought "I love you so much, I'll do anything for you" Howard smiled and planted a kiss in the goth's hair, making him smile. Then he saw the make shift bandage on Howard arm "When did you get hurt?" He asked, guilt making his way into his voice.

"Oh, some kind of bug ate it's way into my arm. O'Connell got it out though" Howard replied, shuddering as he remembered.

"Come on, I'll have a look at it" Vince said, wincing as his body protested againest him moving of the bed. But he didn't care, Howard was hurt and it was his fault. He lead his older lover into the bathroom and filled the sink with warm water and found a bag of cotton wool on the side. Vince gasped as he saw the bug wound when he took the bandage off, Howard notising tears of guilt were welling in his eyes.

"Hey, listen to me little man. None of this was really your fault. I wasn't hurt too badly, you got the worst of it" He placed his good arm around Vince's shoulders and held him close when he'd finished cleaning his wound.

"Are we gonna be alright, Howard?" Vince asked, timidly.

"Course we will, we always are in the end" Howard smiled, making his lover smile back "That's better. Now back to bed with you before Naboo and Bollo kill me for keeping you up and awake instead of resting" Vince laughed as they made their way back to his bed. Howard layed down first and Vince layed down next to him, resting his head on his lover's chest and drifted back off, into a more easy sleep with the feel of a hand moving in his hair.

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In the morning, the binmen were surprised to find large bits of what looked to be a DVD player and broken bits of The Mummy DVD film.

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There finally finished lol this chapter probably sucked the most because I kinda rushed it, i wanted to get it over and done with really sighs please remember to read and review though from chugirl2526.


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